Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

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In a number of countries, it is common for teenagers to focus mainly on the academic subjects they study.

However

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, some people think it is better for them to

also

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get some work experience throughout

this

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part of their life. Personally, I disagree with

this

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point of view. On the one hand, having a

job

Use synonyms

as a high school student can indeed generate positive outcomes.

For example

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, it helps teenagers understand the relationship between employers and employees

and

Punctuation problem

, and

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it starts their transition towards financial independence.

Furthermore

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, it encourages them to take responsibility for their actions, as they have signed a contract, which shows them what failure to proceed

accordingly

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will result in.

Therefore

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, it seems beneficial for

the

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apply

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society that they get a part-time

job

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On the other hand

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, the potential drawbacks of the described problem should

also

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be taken into account.

This

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might negatively affect their academic results, as a

job

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usually requires them to commute between different zones of their town or city, which consumes time that would

otherwise

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be used to revise for an exam or study for a project.

Moreover

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such

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a phenomenon could lead to increased tiredness among them. Some of the jobs might feel excessively demanding, and most of them still have to develop their

time-managing skill

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time management skills

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to a level that will guarantee they manage to balance their life.

That is

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why I believe it is better for them to focus on their studies. The risks of getting a

job

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at a young age outweigh the possible benefits of the situation discussed. In conclusion,

while

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some hold the view that teenagers should spend some time working, I entirely disagree with

this

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idea. That would cause severe problems in

the

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apply

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society,

such

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as tiredness, and should be avoided.

acaitaz

Oct 7, 2024

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task response

For task response, answer all parts of the question more fully. You give your view clearly, but you do not talk much about schools making all teenagers work for a short time.

task response

For task response, add one clear real or simple example. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to believe.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow, but some ideas need more support. Try to explain each main point one step more.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, linking is good, but be careful with some long sentences. Shorter sentences can make your meaning clearer.

task response

For task response, you give a clear opinion from the start and keep it the same to the end.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, words like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' help guide the reader well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

293 words

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Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

A 'cashless society' is one where people use debit/credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that governments should make laws about people’s nutrition and food choice while others argue that it is their choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning your father language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweight disadvantages?