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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the DAY in 1992. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the DAY in 1992. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #radio #television #audiences #information #features #comparisons
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The given graph illustrates variations in the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who either watched television or listened to the radio from October to December 1992, at different times of the
day
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching television,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was more common than listening to the radio.
Overall
Linking Words
, three peaks have been shown throughout the
day
Use synonyms
, all during meals. In fact, the first is around 8 am when
people
Use synonyms
 have breakfast at 10%. Afterwards, it gradually increases until the second peak at roughly 1 pm when
people
Use synonyms
 are more likely to have lunch, involving 15% of the population.
At the end
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
 and highest one with almost half of the audience involved, at 8 pm when
people
Use synonyms
 dine.
Lastly
Linking Words
, talking about radio audiences, an
overall
Linking Words
 decreasing trend is noticeable in the graph.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 at the beginning of the
day
Use synonyms
, there is a spike of more than a quarter of the population, probably
due to
Linking Words
 the large amount of
people
Use synonyms
 driving at that time of the
day
Use synonyms
. Later during the
day
Use synonyms
, there is a gradual downward trend. In conclusion both the lines meet at 3 am when
people
Use synonyms
 are asleep and barely 5% of the audience is using those devices.
Submitted by alessandro.talese on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, day with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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