Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a statement among
people
that products
with a lot of sugar
should cost more to discourage consumption, as sugary food can lead to health
issues. This
essay agrees with the suggestion partially because of the potential benefits and drawbacks of the policy to raise the price. This
essay first will discuss how health
issues might decrease, as people
will think twice before purchasing and then
look at how it could negatively affect low-income families.
To begin
with, people
may reconsider purchasing high-sugar
products
if they are more expensive, as it may affect their budget. Although
it may be challenging for some to completely eliminate sugar
from their diet; nonetheless
, making sugary products
more expensive is worthwhile because it can reduce overall
sugar
intake. Consequently
, the health
and well-being of people
can improve. For instance
, according to
a recent study, the majority of people
indicated that they would be less inclined to purchase sugary products
that have become more expensive, as it would negatively impact their budget.
On the other hand
, raising the price of sugary foods could disproportionately affect lower-income individuals. In other words
, some people
may spend a larger proportion of their income on food, and since sugar
is commonly used in cooking, the cost of their prepared meals could increase. For example
, a recent study showed that after the implementation of a sugar
tax, lower-income households faced a greater financial burden as they spent a higher percentage of their income.
In conclusion, from the given arguments, I believe that while
increasing the price of sugary products
can reduce sugar
intake and help mitigate health
issues, it may negatively impact families who already spend a significant portion of their income on food. Therefore
, implementing another approach to fighting sugar
consumption that considers all people
equally would be preferable.Submitted by nurtoleu.nursulu on
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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a more nuanced thesis statement. Consider clarifying your stance more explicitly in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs by using transitional phrases or sentences to better connect your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid redundant phrasing such as 'this essay first will discuss.' Instead, smoothly incorporate the main points into the introduction.
task achievement
Your response effectively addresses the prompt, providing arguments for both sides of the issue.
task achievement
The essay includes specific examples and studies that strengthen your arguments, making them more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, enhancing readability.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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