Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#technology #people #viewpoints

Most

individuals

think that state-of-the-art technology

has

Verb problem

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experienced by making strong bonds with

individuals

However

, the rest of the people believe that it

has

Verb problem

show examples

not effective way. I strongly agree that the latest platforms have enabled and enhanced

individuals

to find more meaningful engagements with others.

Firstly

, society has modernized by using various platforms which are bringing more and more new technological

advancement

Fix the agreement mistake

advancements

show examples

to humankind, especially to the younger generation that interacts with each other through Facebook, Instagram,

Change the capitalization

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applications

Furthermore

, anyone who decides to travel to another country for study or professional matters, people could maintain their relationships and bond via instant calling

applications

which enable video calls and messaging to each other. These provide

significant

Add an article

a significant

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reduction in

individuals

' spending to connect with parents or loved once, despite that a few decades ago there were few methods of calling someone by using landlines that cost you higher value.

Therefore

, I definitely argue that

this

factor gives the most reliable benefit to society in terms of the security of maintaining relationships no matter where you currently live.

Secondly

, the vast majority of social groups are enforced by raising security concerns and addiction to these various

applications

as well as

they measure personal data

breaches

Correct subject-verb agreement

breach

show examples

incidents into consideration.

For instance

, there was some recent scrambling around Asian countries, there are considerable threats to personal information where some anonymous number of

individuals

were gathered to take personal data that can be used to abuse personal profiling, and in some cases stole money from their banks. In

this

aspects

Fix the agreement mistake

aspect

show examples

, security has been the most breached item in

this

kind of transformation in the recent past.

Finally

, in terms of comparing numbers about the advantages and disadvantages of these modern technologies, it is vividly considered that more advantages are shown during the satisfaction of

individuals

to secure their relationships and make their bond even better by connecting instantly to their peers.

To conclude

, the latest technology in the 21st century makes our lives easier by introducing a prodigious number of

applications

to society.

Further

, these factors enable people to interact easily and instantly fashion by reducing disturbance of reducing bonding.

Submitted by keranda.sac on Tue Oct 08 2024

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task response

To improve task achievement, ensure that each point you discuss is directly relevant to the topic. Make sure to thoroughly analyze the viewpoints, providing balanced arguments from both perspectives before giving your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing your points more logically throughout the essay. Consider using transitional phrases to link your ideas more fluently between paragraphs.

introduction conclusion

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion that neatly encompassed your perspective, setting a strong frame for your essay.

task response

The essay reflected substantial effort to present both viewpoints along with personal opinion, showcasing a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

356 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
communicate
social media
virtual meetings
global community
isolation
distract
face-to-face interaction
personal connections
dependency
technology addiction
digital divide

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