IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that studying at college or university is important for a successful career. Others think that it is better to leave school and find work to gain experience for a successful professional life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #college #university #career #school #work #gain #life
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College and university study give student theoretical knowledge in specialized courses which help them to
achive
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achieve
 their goals in their field and prepare them for their future careers. Most
of
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apply
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 ask for
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a cerificate
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cerificate
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certificate
 or specialisation
firstly
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first
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.
For
example
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example,
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doctors
needs
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need
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 to study for many years because the medicine´s field requires
from
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apply
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each
doctors
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doctor
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 to have a graduation and specialization in the field that they have chosen
otherwise
 they not be able
of being
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to be
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doctors
 and work in the medical sector.As well all
doctors
 must have a specialization from the universities to solve health issues so people´s life
are
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is
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 in their hands.
In addition
,employer often requires a high degree
for
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in
show examples
 education to apply for
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
.
That is
 why students study in different
universitiies
Correct your spelling
universities
 and work hard to have a certificate and look for job opportunities.
On the other
hand
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hand,
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experience
 plays a significant role
of
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in
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 giving people
pratical knowledege
Correct your spelling
practical knowledge
.Everything in life needs
experience
 , it allows us to make more accurate decisions in uncertain situations.
Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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experience
 could help people to be more confident and
independant
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independent
 so
everbody
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everybody
 count on
himself
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themselves
show examples
 to confront the challenges.
For
example
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example,
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 many companies request
experience
 to avoid losing time and money for teaching everything from the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 so people could start directly without training.
Submitted by janejaspar on

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introduction conclusion present
Improve the introduction by clearly setting out the main points that you will discuss in the essay. This will help the reader understand what to expect.
introduction conclusion present
Add a conclusion that summarizes both sides of the discussion and clearly states your opinion. This will provide a coherent end to your essay.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is fully developed and explained. For example, the paragraph on practical experience could include more examples and explanations.
logical structure
Link your ideas more clearly with appropriate linking words (e.g., however, furthermore, in contrast) to improve the flow of your essay.
complete response
The essay addresses both views of the discussion, which fulfills the task requirement.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant examples related to doctors and companies requiring experience, which lends credibility to your points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas around the importance of university education and practical experience are clearly expressed and demonstrate comprehension of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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