People are surrounded by advertisement which has an increased effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?

#people #advertisement #effect #lives #effects #outweigh

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These days

people

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are surrounded by

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which has an increasing effect

Change preposition

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our lives. I personally believe that

while

Linking Words

being surrounded by

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Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

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initiates buying unnecessary

products

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, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because it it helps us to learn about new

products

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. The biggest drawback of being surrounded by

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Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

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is it allows us to purchase unnecessary

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product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

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. When

people

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see an

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of a

product

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, they get attracted by its messages

Remove the comma

apply

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and presentation.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they do not think carefully about whether they need

this

Linking Words

product

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or not. They immediately buy

this

Linking Words

without a second thought.

For example

Linking Words

, in Australia,

people

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get attracted by the

colorful

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colourful

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presentation of advertisements of famous clothing brands

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and buy them. They do not consider whether they need

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

clothes or not.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that being surrounded by

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Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

is sometimes harmful.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the main advantage of being surrounded by

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Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

is it helps us to know about a new

product

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. When a new

product

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comes to market,

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is the best way to let customers know about it. An

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describes the necessities and benefits of a

product

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, and

people

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can find their necessary

products

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seeing

Change preposition

by seeing

show examples

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in 2019, one famous Australian

bekary

Correct your spelling

bakery

launched

a healthy snacks

Correct the article-noun agreement

a healthy snack

healthy snacks

show examples

, and through their engaging

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, they convinced the public about why it is healthy.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that advertisements are necessary to let the public know about the

product

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. In conclusion, being surrounded by

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Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

let

Correct subject-verb agreement

lets

show examples

people

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buy unnecessary

products

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However

Linking Words

, advertisements are necessary because they let us know about new

products

Use synonyms

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Tue Oct 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

Enhance your logical progression. While the essay is generally logical, you may benefit from clearer transitions between points. Try using more linking words to guide the reader smoothly between ideas.

task achievement

Further support your main points with more specific examples. While some examples are included, more detailed or varied examples could strengthen your argument.

language

Avoid repetition and rephrase ideas. For example, instead of repeating 'being surrounded by advertisement' multiple times, find alternatives to improve readability.

coherence cohesion

You successfully introduce and conclude your argument, which provides a clear structure to your essay.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples, such as the Australian bakery, which illustrates your point well.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging both positives and negatives of advertisements.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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People are surrounded by advertisement which has an increased effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?

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Some people say that what children watch on TV influences their behaviour while others say the amount of time children they spend watching Tv influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What measures can be done to address those problems?

What are causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?