People are surrounded by advertisement which has an increased effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?

#people #advertisement #effect #lives #effects #outweigh

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These days

people

are surrounded by

which has an increasing effect

Change preposition

show examples

our lives. I personally believe that

while

being surrounded by

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

initiates buying unnecessary

products

, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because it it helps us to learn about new

products

. The biggest drawback of being surrounded by

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

is it allows us to purchase unnecessary

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

. When

people

see an

of a

product

, they get attracted by its messages

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and presentation.

Consequently

, they do not think carefully about whether they need

this

product

or not. They immediately buy

this

without a second thought.

For example

, in Australia,

people

get attracted by the

colorful

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colourful

show examples

presentation of advertisements of famous clothing brands

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apply

show examples

and buy them. They do not consider whether they need

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

clothes or not.

Therefore

, I believe that being surrounded by

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advertisements

show examples

is sometimes harmful.

Moreover

, the main advantage of being surrounded by

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

is it helps us to know about a new

product

. When a new

product

comes to market,

is the best way to let customers know about it. An

describes the necessities and benefits of a

product

, and

people

can find their necessary

products

seeing

Change preposition

by seeing

show examples

For example

, in 2019, one famous Australian

bekary

Correct your spelling

bakery

launched

a healthy snacks

Correct the article-noun agreement

a healthy snack

healthy snacks

show examples

, and through their engaging

, they convinced the public about why it is healthy.

Therefore

, I believe that advertisements are necessary to let the public know about the

product

. In conclusion, being surrounded by

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

let

Correct subject-verb agreement

lets

show examples

people

buy unnecessary

products

However

, advertisements are necessary because they let us know about new

products

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Tue Oct 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

Enhance your logical progression. While the essay is generally logical, you may benefit from clearer transitions between points. Try using more linking words to guide the reader smoothly between ideas.

task achievement

Further support your main points with more specific examples. While some examples are included, more detailed or varied examples could strengthen your argument.

language

Avoid repetition and rephrase ideas. For example, instead of repeating 'being surrounded by advertisement' multiple times, find alternatives to improve readability.

coherence cohesion

You successfully introduce and conclude your argument, which provides a clear structure to your essay.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples, such as the Australian bakery, which illustrates your point well.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging both positives and negatives of advertisements.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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People are surrounded by advertisement which has an increased effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?

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As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

As technology advances, traveling to space is likely to become an option for holidaysmakers in the future. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of space tourism?

Some people think that news has no connection with people’s lives; so it is a waste of time to read newspapers and watch television news programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?