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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The first graph shows the average worls oil price for each year from 1970 to 2005. The second chart shows the top six oil-exporting countries and how much they export each day.

The first graph shows the average worls oil price for each year from 1970 to 2005. The second chart shows the top six oil-exporting countries and how much they export each day.
#first #worls #oil #price #year #second #six #countries #export
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The line graph illustrates the average
world
Use synonyms
oil
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 prices in us
dollars
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 per
barrel
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 from 1970 to 2005,
whereas
Linking Words
 the bar chart demonstrates the distribution of
oil
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 exports among the top exporting nations in 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
oil
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 prices experienced significant fluctuations over the period; meanwhile, the countries in the Middle East were the largest
oil
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 exporters in 2005. In terms of the line graph,
initially
Linking Words
, the
world
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oil
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 price was approximately 10
dollars
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 per
barrel
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 in 1970 before rising steadily to 45
dollars
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 per
barrel
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 in 1975.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it significantly increased to a peak
around
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of around
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 85
dollars
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 per
barrel
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 in 1980.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, the
world
Use synonyms
 petroleum price dramatically dropped to about 50
dollars
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 per
barrel
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 in 1985 before fluctuating between 30 and 20
dollars
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 per
barrel
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 from 1990 to 2000. Eventually, the price rose to about 50
dollars
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 per
barrel
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in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the period. For the given bar chart, there were 6 largest fuel exporters in 2005. It can be significantly seen that Saudi Arabia was the leading
oil
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 exporter, exporting around 9 million barrels per day, followed by Russia which distributed approximately 6.5 million barrels.
In
Change preposition
At
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 the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 other countries choose to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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import petroleum from Norway, Iran,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Arab Emirates and Nigeria more than 2 to 3 million barrels per day. In conclusion, the line graph demonstrates the volatility of
world
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 crude
oil
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 prices over the given period,
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart illustrates the quantity of petroleum distributed by the top six exporting nations in 2005.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words world, oil, dollars, barrel with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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