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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a speicies of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a speicies of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #life #cycle #speicies #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagram provides information about the life cycle of
salmon
 which is a species of large fish.
Overall
, there are three main stages
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 with fry, ending with
adult
salmon
, before turning back the life cycle. First and foremost, baby salmons are born from
salmon
 eggs, which are known as fry. They
have
Verb problem
are
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 3-8
centimeters
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centimetres
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 in length and they live in
lower
Add an article
the lower
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 river, where water flows
fastly
Rephrase
fast
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. It takes them about 4 years to develop in there.
Then
, their size
grow
Change the verb form
grows
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 up 2-3 times to become smolts.
Secondly
, the smolt immigrates to
open
Correct article usage
the open
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 sea and lives in there. They mature for 5 years before
tranforming
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transforming
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
adult
salmon
.
Adult
salmon
 may reach 70-76
cemtimeters
Correct your spelling
centimetres
 in length. They swim to
upper
Add an article
the upper
show examples
 river,
where
Correct word choice
which
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 has
slow
Correct article usage
a slow
show examples
 flow. In
this
 place,
adult
 salmons settle down
approximately
Change preposition
for approximately
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 5-6 months. They seed eggs near
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reeds and small stones.
Last
 but not least,
salmon
 eggs evolve
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fry, which moves to
lower
Add an article
the lower
show examples
 river
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by water flow. It starts the new
cylce
Correct your spelling
cycle
 life of
salmon
.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, adult with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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