IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries people have to pay for madical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
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 think madical care should be a free by the government but in many
countries
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people
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also
Linking Words
 have to pay for madical payment.
Although
Linking Words
 medical care should be provided from gavernment and
also
Linking Words
people
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 have to use their buget for medican. Becouse:
countries
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 have to focus for other part of our country
such
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 as millatry, education. On the one hand
people
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 should pay payment for madican becouse in some cases
countries
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 can not provide with instruments in hospitals.
People
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health
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 is most important part of their life. Additionaliy, when
people
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 spend their money for their
health
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 and
countries
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 can focus for other factor of our soceity.
For instance
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: millatry, education and
this
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 factors will develop in the future life.
Thus
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,
people
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 have to spend their cash for their
health
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 government should implement
people
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 for their
health
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. Because: population's
health
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 most nessesery things for
countries
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. When their sitezens healthy it means county is healthy and
also
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 some
people
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 do not have possibility for expend for madican. Government have to ensure
people
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 who do not have possibility for madican
such
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 as old
people
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 and babies. In conclusion, if
people
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 want to develop other factors of our country they should pay payments for themselves.
As well as
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 gavernments
also
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 responsable for
people
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health
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 who have no chance in their budget.

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task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more comprehensively and clearly in each paragraph. Make sure your reasons and examples are detailed and support your main argument effectively.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments and make them more convincing and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Revise grammar and spelling to minimize errors, which will improve overall clarity. For instance, 'madical' should be 'medical', and 'gavernment' should be 'government'.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.
task achievement
Your essay presents both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced viewpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
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