IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country
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The charts compare in ownership of electrical machines and
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of time spent doing housework in homes in 1920 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the figure for
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 used highest from other machines.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the figure for
washing
Add an article
the washing
show examples
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 was
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 in the given years. It is proved that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the figure for
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 was using the highest percentage of 1 to 100,from 1920 to 2019.
However
Linking Words
,
vacuum
Add an article
the vacuum
show examples
 cleaner was
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
machine
Use synonyms
 which
was using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of 30 to 100, from 1920 to 2019. Vacuum cleaner
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 increased gradually and reached a peak of the highest. On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1920 to 1960 washing
machine
Use synonyms
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 rose slowly from 30% to 100%.
Then
Linking Words
, in 1980 it
was decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 to 70% from 60%.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000 and 2019 washing
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 used lightly grew from 70% to 75%.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 chart,we can see the number of hours of homework each week, per household number
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
declined to 50 from 10, from 1920 to 2019.
Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words machine with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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