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Writing Samples
Band 4

TASK 1 The diagram above shows the process of producing bottled and canned carbonated drinks.

TASK 1 The diagram above shows the process of producing bottled and canned carbonated drinks.
#process #drinks
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The picture describes the production of canned and bottled carbonated beverages in factories. There are five steps involved in cleaning the
water
Use synonyms
, heating evaporation and carbonation, mixing, filtering filling and delivering to markets.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the process starts with filtering raw
water
Use synonyms
 using a modern machine by adding
water
Use synonyms
 softener and chemicals . It aims to separate the bacteria from the
water
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the clean
water
Use synonyms
 was pumped into electric heaters. After that, it flows to the cooling pipe to get a lower temperature
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
carbon dioxide to make the
water
Use synonyms
 carbonated.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, all the content
such
Linking Words
 as colouring powder, syrup and flavour mix in the big boiler.
The next step is
Linking Words
 filtering and filling the
water
Use synonyms
 into bottles and cans
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 boxing it into cartons.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the ready box will be delivered to supermarkets by using trucks and people will get enjoyable beverages.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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