IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter 1. Give details of your study plans 2. Explain why you want to get a part-time job 3. Suggest how your friend could help

#country #study #job #friend #lives #help #plans
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Dear John, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in good health and best of spirits. I'm thrilled to inform you that I am migrating to Canada for my higher academics as I received my study visa
last
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 month. I was thinking of doing a part-time
job
Use synonyms
while
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 studying, if I could seek your help to find the
job
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 right
job
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 that would be great. I am enrolled in Canadore College, Scarborough campus with a Business Accountancy course, same as you. I have to attend an on-campus class on Monday and Tuesday in the morning and I have two lectures online on Wednesday.
Therefore
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, I am free for the rest of the week and weekends as well. I want to get a part-time
job
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 to earn some money to cover my daily expenses because it is hard to sit at home for four days and do nothing. As you know currently, I work 3 days a week and study for the rest of the days,
thus
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 I like keeping myself busy with some productive tasks because work and study ba,lance is relentlessly vital for every human life. I remember you told me that you work for an MNC as a human resource department head, if you have any vacancies for part-time accountants, please let me know. I have worked for Reliance, India as an accountant for 4 years, so I have good experience as well. I am
also
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 trying to find a
job
Use synonyms
 for me on Indeed. Your help means a lot to me. I'm excited to meet you soon. Yours sincerely, Navneet Kaur.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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Task Achievement
You've done a great job in providing clear details regarding your study plans, the desire for a part-time job, and how your friend might assist. To further enhance your letter, consider expanding upon the specifics of how your friend could aid you, perhaps by suggesting they could also look into their network beyond their current workplace for opportunities that match your background and preferences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter flows logically from one point to the next, enhancing its readability. To improve even further, ensure transitions between paragraphs are smooth, possibly by introducing phrases that signal a change in topic or connection to the previous paragraph.
Logical Structure
Your letter nicely adheres to the requested structure, providing clear separation between different points discussed.
Writing Tone
Excellent use of a polite and appropriate writing tone, fitting the context of writing to a friend while still maintaining a level of formality suitable for the request at hand.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Educational aspirations
  • Work experience
  • Financial independence
  • Resume (or CV)
  • Local job market
  • International student
  • Legal requirements
  • Student work permit
  • Employment trends
  • Time management
  • Networking
  • A part-time position
  • Balance studies and work
  • Job hunting strategies
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