You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter 1. Give details of your study plans 2. Explain why you want to get a part-time job 3. Suggest how your friend could help

#country #study #job #friend #lives #help #plans

Dear John, I hope

this

letter finds you in good health and best of spirits. I'm thrilled to inform you that I am migrating to Canada for my higher academics as I received my study visa

last

month. I was thinking of doing a part-time

job

while

studying, if I could seek your help to find the

job

right

job

that would be great. I am enrolled in Canadore College, Scarborough campus with a Business Accountancy course, same as you. I have to attend an on-campus class on Monday and Tuesday in the morning and I have two lectures online on Wednesday.

Therefore

, I am free for the rest of the week and weekends as well. I want to get a part-time

job

to earn some money to cover my daily expenses because it is hard to sit at home for four days and do nothing. As you know currently, I work 3 days a week and study for the rest of the days,

thus

I like keeping myself busy with some productive tasks because work and study ba,lance is relentlessly vital for every human life. I remember you told me that you work for an MNC as a human resource department head, if you have any vacancies for part-time accountants, please let me know. I have worked for Reliance, India as an accountant for 4 years, so I have good experience as well. I am

also

trying to find a

job

for me on Indeed. Your help means a lot to me. I'm excited to meet you soon. Yours sincerely, Navneet Kaur.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Tue Apr 02 2024

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Task Achievement

You've done a great job in providing clear details regarding your study plans, the desire for a part-time job, and how your friend might assist. To further enhance your letter, consider expanding upon the specifics of how your friend could aid you, perhaps by suggesting they could also look into their network beyond their current workplace for opportunities that match your background and preferences.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your letter flows logically from one point to the next, enhancing its readability. To improve even further, ensure transitions between paragraphs are smooth, possibly by introducing phrases that signal a change in topic or connection to the previous paragraph.

Logical Structure

Your letter nicely adheres to the requested structure, providing clear separation between different points discussed.

Writing Tone

Excellent use of a polite and appropriate writing tone, fitting the context of writing to a friend while still maintaining a level of formality suitable for the request at hand.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

263 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Educational aspirations
Work experience
Financial independence
Resume (or CV)
Local job market
International student
Legal requirements
Student work permit
Employment trends
Time management
Networking
A part-time position
Balance studies and work
Job hunting strategies

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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in science research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Detailed descriptions of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be restricted on media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development?

Many people join distance-learning programs (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Discuss both side of view and give your opinion.

The bar chart compares the proportion of 4 divers transportations usage throughout the commuting to work in one of European city in 3 separate years 1960, 1980 and 2000. The unit is measured in the percentage.