t can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In recent years, competition in local markets
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been
esclating
Correct your spelling
escalating
. Local communities complain about the struggles in competing with
maga
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Maga
show examples
supermarkets and online shopping websites. One of the possible solutions is that the government should
enchance
Correct your spelling
enhance
and encourage local society to invest in their town.
However
,
this
essay will discuss
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
harms
Fix the agreement mistake
harm
show examples
done by these actions and how to avoid
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. On the one hand, local communities contribution to the economy of the country is as important as the
forigne
Correct your spelling
foreign
investment. In the past years, people claimed that they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
not face and compete with bigger investors
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of cash flow.
As a result
, local contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
went
Wrong verb form
has gone
show examples
down in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent periods. Another reason
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
show examples
affect the local community market
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
online shops. With the advancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology, individuals tend to buy their goods
on-line
Correct your spelling
online
show examples
at home.
Therefore
, local shops
is
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are
show examples
facing a huge risk because of that.
On the other hand
, there are practical solutions
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
be done by the government. They could
enhance
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
people to open shops by
give
Change the verb form
giving
show examples
them
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sopported
Correct your spelling
supported
support
money in case they
stuggle
Correct your spelling
struggle
because of the markets.
Moreover
, they must invent regulations that help and encourage local community
investers
Correct your spelling
investors
.
For example
, there is a limited number of international investments in some
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
.
Thus
, local
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
can get reasonable profits.
To sum up
,
although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
having different methods to buy original and local stuff,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the culture of local society in the long run. Citizens should
sopport
Correct your spelling
support
each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
to stay in
buissness
Correct your spelling
business
in order to have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
country.
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coherence cohesion
Clarify the central argument in your introduction. It would be helpful to clearly state the main points you will discuss, which will provide a roadmap for your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that all paragraphs directly address the task. For instance, more details could be provided on the specific roles local communities play and the depth of impact supermarkets and online shops have.
task achievement
Develop more specific examples or scenarios to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of ideas. Occasionally, sentences are vague and could be more specific and direct in conveying their message.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a good introduction that highlights the main topic and briefly mentions potential solutions.
logical structure
The transition between points and making use of paragraphs shows good organizational skills.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economies of scale
  • local employment opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • community engagement
  • property prices
  • homogenization of the retail environment
  • social gathering points
  • unique and specialized products
  • local heritage preservation
  • online retailers
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