many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. what are the causes of the problem? how to overcome it?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The phenomenon of how many people
is
Change the verb form
are

The verb is does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
achieving
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance

The noun phrase balance seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

-life is a global issue that can have
concequences
Correct your spelling
consequences

If you don’t want concequences to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will
disscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss

If you don’t want disscuss to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the problems arising
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Change preposition
from this

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
disparity and propose potential solutions. One of the major problems resulting from labour-life balance is taking a good career. As employees
which
Correct pronoun usage
who

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in fabric or
company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that urge
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for 24
hours
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
a day especially if there are urgent tasks
must
Correct pronoun usage
that must

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
be accomplished, leading to high responsibility and
good
Correct article usage
a good

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
probability of career prospects for those
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. As
consequence
Correct article usage
a consequence

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
, it can reduce
free
Add an article
the free

The noun phrase free time seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that must be available for family or hobbies. Another issue is depending on their supervisors or managers, on the one hand, people which has a good leader and respect
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
break
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
can tackle many tasks
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are not around.
Conversely
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, supervisors
which
Correct pronoun usage
who

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition of seems unecessary after the verb lack. Consider removing the preposition.

show examples
competence,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
mostly give
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks

It seems that task may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
to their
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Linking Words
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
when

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is not for
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can lead to a lower quality of life for
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers

The word labours doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
and limit their personal
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. To address these problems, several measures can be taken.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there should be a bold
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
rule of the
company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that can be divided by private
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

includes the responsibility of their management to not disturb their
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
weekends.
Company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

initiatives aim at increasing
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

quality and supporting their
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to socialize in
out of
Add a hyphen
out-of-work

It seems that out of work is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

circumtances
Correct your spelling
circumstances

If you don’t want circumtances to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, flexible
hours
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be the option
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
individuals in these days to choose what
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that they are available to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. With the right implementation,
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers

The word labours doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
can develop their creativities as an outcome without needing to complain.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company

The noun phrase company seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
can limit
labours
Change noun form
labours'
labour's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as in a month,
Rephrase
when worker
show examples
Rephrase
when worker

There may be an adverb issue here.

show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
have to spend 800
hours
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

no matter which days and
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times

It seems that time may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. In conclusion, the disparity in how many people to
rising
Wrong verb form
rise

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb rising. Consider changing it.

show examples
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

-life
balanced
Replace the word
balance

The word balanced doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
because
Add a missing verb
is because

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
of taking good chances or
depends
Wrong verb form
depending

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb depends. Consider changing it.

show examples
on their boss. To address
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company

The noun phrase company seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
has to make a bold for their rules and consider
to give
Change the verb form
giving

To give doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples
flexible
hours
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff

It seems that staffs may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to use more specific examples or evidence to support your points. It will enhance the credibility and strength of your argument.
task achievement
Improve clarity by refining some complex sentences to ensure ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied and accurate vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion well.
coherence cohesion
There is a noticeable effort to structure the essay logically, with distinct paragraphs discussing problems and solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • flexible work arrangements
  • remote work
  • unplug
  • boundaries
  • workplace culture
  • societal pressure
  • stress management
  • time management
What to do next:
Look at other essays: