many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. what are the causes of the problem? how to overcome it?

The phenomenon of how many people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
achieving
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
of
work
-life is a global issue that can have
concequences
Correct your spelling
consequences
.
This
essay will
disscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
the problems arising
this
Change preposition
from this
show examples
disparity and propose potential solutions. One of the major problems resulting from labour-life balance is taking a good career. As employees
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
work
in fabric or
company
that urge
staff
for 24
hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a day especially if there are urgent tasks
must
Correct pronoun usage
that must
show examples
be accomplished, leading to high responsibility and
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
probability of career prospects for those
staff
. As
consequence
Correct article usage
a consequence
show examples
, it can reduce
free
Add an article
the free
show examples
time
that must be available for family or hobbies. Another issue is depending on their supervisors or managers, on the one hand, people which has a good leader and respect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
break
time
or
work
time
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can tackle many tasks
while
the
staff
are not around.
Conversely
, supervisors
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
competence,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mostly give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
to their
staff
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
the
time
is not for
work
.
This
can lead to a lower quality of life for
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
and limit their personal
time
. To address these problems, several measures can be taken.
Firstly
, there should be a bold
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rule of the
company
that can be divided by private
time
and
work
time
.
This
includes the responsibility of their management to not disturb their
staff
while
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
weekends.
Company
initiatives aim at increasing
work
time
quality and supporting their
staff
to socialize in
out of
Add a hyphen
out-of-work
show examples
work
circumtances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
.
Furthermore
, flexible
hours
can be the option
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
individuals in these days to choose what
time
that they are available to
work
. With the right implementation,
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
can develop their creativities as an outcome without needing to complain.
Moreover
,
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
can limit
labours
Change noun form
labours'
labour's
show examples
time
such
as in a month,
Rephrase
when worker
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
have to spend 800
hours
no matter which days and
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
. In conclusion, the disparity in how many people to
rising
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
work
-life
balanced
Replace the word
balance
show examples
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
of taking good chances or
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
on their boss. To address
this
,
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
has to make a bold for their rules and consider
to give
Change the verb form
giving
show examples
flexible
hours
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Improve clarity by refining some complex sentences to ensure ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied and accurate vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion well.
coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • flexible work arrangements
  • remote work
  • unplug
  • boundaries
  • workplace culture
  • societal pressure
  • stress management
  • time management
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