Some people feel that equality between the genders has already been achieved while others feel there is considerable progress to be made. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #equality #genders #progress

It is considered by some people that

women

are regarded as

equally

Change the word

equal

show examples

with men, whilst other people think

this

subject has not been achieved yet.

Although

these days

women

have more opportunities and respect,

women

are still disadvantaged in some cultures and societies. It is undeniable that

women

gain more freedom in

compare

Replace the word

comparison

show examples

with the past. The most significant indication for

this

is having

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

to vote, they can

also

be as a candidate or even making an election.

Furthermore

, In the past

women

were not allowed to have a qualification and receive education and must be an uneducated person for her entire life. For another example, they should obey their father, brother, or husband and they

behaved

Wrong verb form

behave

show examples

with them like a slave.

Also

, in some societies

such

as Arab culture, if they found that their newborn baby was a girl, the infant would be buried alive.

As a result

, nowadays

women

are more free to live in whatever way that they want, which means they can live in their own personal desire way without being criticized.

On the other hand

, some rights activists and feminists believe that many vacancies and problems

are exist

Change the verb form

exist

show examples

in every society to reach

Remove the article

apply

show examples

factual equality.

For instance

, some female football players have faith

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that their salary or weekly wage must be equal

with

Change preposition

show examples

male players

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they

are in

Verb problem

apply

show examples

believe that they are working in the same field and they have similar duties.

As a consequence

, the

women

’s portion

part

Add a missing verb

is part

show examples

of society and activists try to bring more rights for

women

and improve equality. To sum it up,

while

women

are struggling with those issues, it seems gender equality has not been achieved and

due to

this

reason, it is necessary for every

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

to work on it.

Submitted by mr.sadeghnezhadengineer on Wed Oct 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To improve your essay, consider using more specific examples, data, or references to support your arguments. This will increase the reliability and strength of your points.

coherence cohesion

Make sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and the ideas in the paragraph should clearly flow from this sentence.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction sets a clear context for the essay by presenting both viewpoints on gender equality.

task achievement

You have effectively identified the main areas where progress has been made and where further work is needed concerning gender equality.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Describe an item of technology that you own which is very important to you. You should say: where you got it from how long you have had it what you use it for and explain why it is important to you.
An item of technology that is important to me is my digital watch. It is black in colour. It has many features like getting notifications, music, health records, and so on. We can connect it with our phone and then it shows all the same things which are there in my phone.
7.5
band
Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Various controversies have emerged as to whether the contribution of society should only be paying taxes. Some people claim that it is totally responsible if people pay taxes to the government. From my perspective, however, there is more than taxing that the citizen should do for the betterment of society.
6.5
band
Everyone should start eating vegetarian because it helps improve health. To what extent do you agree?
The adoption of a vegetarian diet is often heralded as a beneficial nutritional approach, credited with improving health outcomes and preventing various health issues. While proponents argue for its merits, suggesting that it leads to better health examination results and aids in the prevention of diseases, such as cancer, there are valid concerns regarding its adequacy in providing essential nutrients. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives to assess the extent to which everyone should embrace a vegetarian diet for health improvement.
6
band
The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.”
In contemporary society, there is a raising of individuals who take part in criminal activities annually. In this problem, some argue that the policy of prison plays a vital role in addressing crime, while others contend that the standard of life for the inhabitants is better.
6
band
In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages of reading e-books outweigh its disadvantages?
In recent times, many people are interested in reading e-books instead of paper books. While e-books allow to carry a large number of books in a tiny and portable device, I personally believe that it is a negative development because people are missing the feelings of touching and reading paper books.

Some people feel that equality between the genders has already been achieved while others feel there is considerable progress to be made. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Describe an item of technology that you own which is very important to you. You should say: where you got it from how long you have had it what you use it for and explain why it is important to you.

Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Everyone should start eating vegetarian because it helps improve health. To what extent do you agree?

The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.”

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages of reading e-books outweigh its disadvantages?