Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
While
it is widely debated that Linking Words
the
governments have the right to Correct article usage
apply
access
personal phone calls and Use synonyms
messages
of their citizens Use synonyms
due to
safety, others argue that Linking Words
such
data must not Linking Words
disclose
to the authorities Wrong verb form
be disclosed
along with
retrieving it without consent. Both points of view and reasons why I believe that the compliance between security concerns from the Linking Words
government
and permission from the owner can Use synonyms
this
claim will be discussed Linking Words
further
in Linking Words
this
essay.
Linking Words
To begin
with, it seems sensible that many Linking Words
people
to dissatisfied with the Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
of
personal contact Change preposition
to
datas
from the Correct your spelling
data
government
. Use synonyms
This
is possibly because Linking Words
this
might create Linking Words
the
sense of discomfort or Correct article usage
a
imprison
as they will be monitored Replace the word
imprisonment
their
communicative activities. Many Change preposition
in their
people
worried that their private information might Use synonyms
being
exposed if the Change the verb form
be
government
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
access
Correct subject-verb agreement
accesses
to
their personal Change preposition
apply
datas
and Correct your spelling
data
did
not have proper security systems to keep it.
Wrong verb form
does
However
, many opponents of Linking Words
this
idea might Linking Words
opposed
that the disclosure of private Change the verb form
oppose
be opposed
informations
like calls and Change the wording
information
pieces of information
messages
can somewhat benefit in case of legal proof. As calls and Use synonyms
messages
now become major communication means some Use synonyms
people
might use it for bad intentions. Take Use synonyms
NTR
chat room, Correct article usage
the NTR
for example
; it is an anonymous group chat where they Linking Words
sent
Wrong verb form
send
sexual
explicit Change the word
sexually
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
of
children and Change preposition
to
drunked
women for Correct your spelling
drunken
drunk
sells
. If the Replace the word
sale
Use synonyms
government
unable to track Add a verb
government is
government was
such
Linking Words
messages
, they could never punish these violaters in jail and the victim might never gain Use synonyms
their
justice.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Therefore
, I personally think that the compliance between the two must be complied Linking Words
in
order to allow the Change preposition
with in
government
to protect their Use synonyms
people
without Use synonyms
violate
personal. Any Change the verb form
violating
access
must have permission from the user Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
written
form or online request as Correct article usage
a written
a
it can be Remove the article
apply
a legal documents
of consent.
In summary, Correct the article-noun agreement
a legal document
legal documents
although
it is undeniable that Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
access
Use synonyms
of
personal information from the authorities could create Change preposition
to
discomfortness
for Correct your spelling
discomforts
discomfort ness
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
Use synonyms
especially
privacy, I am of the Add the comma(s)
, especially
opnion
that there is some benefit in the security aspect Correct your spelling
opinion
such
as the detection of illegal sales of sexual Linking Words
explicits
contents. If the Correct your spelling
explicit
government
Use synonyms
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and link sentences effectively to improve coherence. Some sentences seem detached from the main point, causing a bit of confusion.
task achievement
Work on your grammar and sentence structure to express ideas more clearly. Avoid awkward phrasing and strive for linguistic precision to ensure the reader understands your argument thoroughly.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant specific examples, like the reference to the NTR chat room, which effectively illustrate the point regarding the need for government access for legal reasons.
coherence cohesion
You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well. There's a noticeable attempt to discuss both sides of the argument impartially.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.