Many people today choose to take part in extreme sports (e.g. skydiving, rock climbing). Why do you think people want to do these sports? Why do you think should pay if people injure themselves while doing an extreme sport?

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A lot of humans like sport, but nowadays people prefer extreme as a lifestyle. Rafting, tourism to volcanoes, speed racing and other sports become standard,
such
as tennis and football. The oldest hobby left its popularity.
This
trend was many years ago,
however
, today we can see the sunrise of a new age. The reason for
this
situation is a very slow and secure life.
For example
, a man working in the office, warehouse or another place with big safe standards,
also
, other people checking situation every minute. After that, he sits in a modern car and goes to the apartment with a security system against fire, theft and electricity problems. He prepares dinner on the safety stove and goes to bed with an orthopaedic mattress.
As a result
, it is nice for his body, but worse for his mental health. After that, the person has a big stress because it is a golden cage for the mentality. The exit from
this
situation is simple, and
this
is an extreme sport. Humans take fear, pain, fury and adrenaline. Full set for creating happiness. These types of sports are very expensive because it is needed to pay the mentor, and buy ammunition.
Also
, art equipment for the soul.
This
set of things presents a safety system, but it doesn’t guarantee your security. One day, when people jump from a rock, climb to mountain or go in a race, they spend a lot of time training, making friends and building skills to find themselves.
Moreover
, In the modern world, all humans need extreme hobbies for mental stability and to find friends. In my opinion, adrenalin and happiness are ideal reasons for playing extreme hobbies. Professional sports cost so much money. If a person likes an active lifestyle and health, he will pay for it.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, such as mentioning a particular extreme sport or a real-life scenario.
coherence cohesion
Try to logically connect paragraphs with linking words or phrases, which can improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Conclusion should provide a clearer summary of main points and final thought on who should bear the cost of injuries.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction that sets the context for the discussion on extreme sports.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses reasons for participating in extreme sports, touching upon the psychological aspect.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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