Being a celebrity - such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

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Being a famous person,

such

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as a movie star or a sportsperson, brings issues

as well as

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benefits.

Although

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famous

people

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live lavish

lives

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, I believe that death threats from evil-minded

people

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such

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as gangsters for not paying them

money

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create more issues. High-class sports individuals and movie actors and actresses live high-end

lives

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In other words

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, they can afford luxuries

such

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as high-end cars and luxurious homes which a common man can not afford; and

thus

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, they enjoy their

lives

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to the fullest.

For instance

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, in research, it was found that famous

people

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in India earn almost ten times more than an average Indian, and

as a result

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, they buy luxury items.

However

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, I think that a huge amount of

money

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and fame

also

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attracts bad

people

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. Rich individuals

such

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as movie stars and sports

people

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are always in danger of being killed by gangsters for not giving them

money

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This

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is because many criminals ask for protection payment from these high-class men and women to save them from other gangsters, and if they do not pay them, they sometimes kill them.

For example

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, a famous singer, Sidhu Moosewala, was killed by criminals in 2022 because he refused to give them protection

money

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Therefore

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, in my opinion, these high-class

people

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are always in constant danger of getting killed. In conclusion, it is being said that celebrities

such

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as film stars or others have both benefits and drawbacks. Even though they live high-class

lives

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with luxuries, I believe that they have to face harmful threats from bad individuals.

Hence

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, I think that becoming a celebrity brings more drawbacks as compared to benefits.

KaranAwal15Fri Nov 17 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear and distinct structure. To improve, ensure that your paragraphs are well-organized, each one focusing on a single main idea. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between paragraphs effectively.

coherence cohesion

The introduction is present but could be improved by clearly paraphrasing the question and stating your opinion. Ensure your conclusion summarizes the main points and restates your position. This will make your essay more cohesive and provide a sense of closure.

task achievement

While you presented an opinion on the issue, your response is not fully developed. A balanced argument considering both sides, or more detailed reasoning behind your opinion, would enhance the depth of your essay. Additionally, make conclusions that link back to the original question to ensure that you fully address the task.

task achievement

To better express your ideas, aim to develop your points clearly and systematically. Expanding on your arguments with further explanation, and possibly presenting a contrasting viewpoint, would make your response more comprehensive.

task achievement

You provided an example to support your argument; however, including a variety of relevant and specific examples could strengthen your position. Try to draw from a range of perspectives to illustrate your points more convincingly.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public scrutiny
Intrusive
Endorsements
Sponsorships
Financial security
High-profile collaborations
Social influence
Philanthropic efforts
Trust issues
Mental health challenges
Substance abuse
Pressures of celebrity
Expectations
Disconnect from reality
Normalcy

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Being a celebrity - such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesful at persuading as to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some argue that governments should prioritize lowering environmental pollution and housing issues in order to prevent illness and disease. How much do you agree or disagree with this?

“All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone.” To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In what ways does art reflect the culture and values of a society? What are the advantages and disadvantages of using art as a means of communication?