More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

People
like to be influenced by other
people
.
This
situation is quite normal for humanity.
People
have been influenced by each other since ancient times. It has developed
as a result
of
people
being influenced by each other with the development of civilization.
This
situation is normal but
currently
Add a comma
currently,
show examples
we are only influenced by clothing or luxury. We want
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
luxury
clother
Correct your spelling
clothes
so expensive
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
show examples
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
or home but maybe we do not have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough
money
. We do not care we
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
just think about more luxurious clothing,
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
and
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. Nowadays influencing someone is a profession. Some
people
actively use a phone and a
populer
Correct your spelling
popular
application. Popular brands send products to these users and these users sometimes praise the
product
and encourage it to be purchased without using it. By adding links to stories they share, they
furture
Correct your spelling
further
encourage the purchase of the
product
and receive
money
for each
product
likely clicked and purchased. Unpopular brands
also
use
this
method to become known.
People
who see the ads click on the link and buy the
product
because they want to dress more luxurious or just because they want to. It does not matter whether you have
money
or not, and if there is no
money
it
purchased
Add a missing verb
is purchased
show examples
using a credit card. There is no end to
this
comsuption
Correct your spelling
consumption
frenzy and the sad end is that we are all
inviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
who owe
money
to banks and have difficulty paying it. To avoid
this
situation, we must know how to manage our
money
and set limits on our wishes.
Submitted by kubrairmak287 on

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task achievement
Expand on the reasons why people prefer to buy products from famous brands. Include more details or examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Conclude the essay with a clear statement of whether you see this as a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a balanced structure with an equal focus on both causes and the evaluation of the development (positive/negative).
task achievement
The essay acknowledges the influence of popular brand marketing and the role of social media influencers, which is relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, from being influenced to consequences of buying and financial management.
overall writing quality
The essay effectively relates personal financial management to the societal trend of purchasing luxury goods, indicating personal insight.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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