IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#developments
Since
Change preposition
For
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 ages ,farming has been the major source
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the prosperity of the country.
Science
 has
modfied
Correct your spelling
modified
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
farming.I absolutely agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that scientific advancements have completely improved
the
Correct article usage
apply
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farming in terms of yield ,growth and job creation.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
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,
science
 has made
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant progress in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
machinery and automation that have improved the
techniques
 and sowing methods for farming
for example
 the job that was completed in days has reduced markedly.
Science
 has reduced the labour cost.
For instance
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crops were harvested by
large
Change the article
a large
the large
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 number of people in past
while
on the other hand
 with advancements
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
science
Add a comma
science,
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 only 1 or two machines are outperforming than large number of people. One heated argument in
this
 regard is that
science
 has increased the efficiency and yield of the crops which has created
the
Correct article usage
a
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 significant impact on the economy.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 automated machines are less frequent in making
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mistakes.They plough the fields with great precision and
hence
 improve the growth. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
 ,in past the farming methods and
techniques
 were very outdated .Most of the jobs were taken over by the farmers and manual labourers.
one
Capitalize word
One
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 or two decades ago people used
the
Correct article usage
apply
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manual ways to harvest
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crops which took days to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the market and most of them were damaged before they
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
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the customers.
In addition
 to that ,sowing
techniques
 were very outdated
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Wrong verb form
resulting
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resulted
Add the preposition
resulted in
resulted from
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 the inevitable delay in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
growing which impacted the demand because
need
Add an article
the need
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the particular crop is highly dependent on the season if you are selling the things when
season
Add an article
the season
show examples
 is out it will impact the sales and in turn the farming would not be able to prosper. In conclusion,
science
is playing
Wrong verb form
plays
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vital role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
farming .It has altered the picture of the entire business.
Evolution
Correct article usage
The evolution
show examples
 of
scienfic
Correct your spelling
scientific
techniques
 and methods
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased the efficiency
to grow
Change preposition
of growing
show examples
 and
cut
Wrong verb form
cutting
show examples
,invention of hybrid seeds resulted the increased growth markedly.
Hence
 I strongly agree that
science
 impacted
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
farming a lot.
Submitted by shehzadarshad976 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. While your points are valid, connecting sentences can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Consider elaborating more on certain points to make sure each argument is fully developed. Adding a few more details or examples could strengthen your points.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both benefits and historical challenges in farming without additional prompts.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included both an introduction and conclusion, helping to clearly frame your argument and summarize your points.
task achievement
The examples and points given are relevant to the topic and illustrate your arguments well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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