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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table shows the number of mobile phones sold in millions for a period of six years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The table shows the number of mobile phones sold in millions for a period of six years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table shows the number of mobile phones sold, in millions, by five different brands between 2006
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2012. Ericsson and Motorola generally experienced a decline in
sales
Use synonyms
 over the period. Ericsson’s
sales
Use synonyms
 rose slightly in 2007 to 102, and
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2008 to 2012 the numbers kept on going down,
as well as
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Motorola’s, bringing them both to a
number
Check wording
total
show examples
 of 28 millions phone sold. Meanwhile, Nokia had reached its peak during 2008 with 475
millions
Check wording
million
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, the highest figure recorded by all brands. Samsung and Apple were the only brands whose
sales
Use synonyms
 increased throughout the period. Samsung’s numbers had grown from 117 in 2006 to 396.5 in 2012, overtaking Nokia, whose
number
Check wording
numbers
show examples
 fell to 335. Apple recorded just 2.3 million
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2007, but its
sales
Use synonyms
 rose sharply to 135.8 million by 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, Nokia had the highest
sales
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the period, but Samsung became the leading brand by 2012.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Ericsson and Motorola experienced significant declines,
while
Linking Words
 Apple's
sales
Use synonyms
 increased considerably.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual sales
  • fluctuations
  • market saturation
  • technological advancements
  • consumer trends
  • brand dominance
  • growth trajectory
  • market share
  • innovations
  • peak sales
  • decline
  • stagnate
  • proliferate
  • exponential growth
  • market dynamics
  • forecast
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