IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The table shows the number of mobile phones sold in millions for a period of six years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

5.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The table shows the number of mobile phones sold in millions for a period of six years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The provided text outlines the volume of mobile phones sold by five prominent manufacturers—Nokia,
Ericsson
Use synonyms
,
Samsung
Use synonyms
,
Motorola
Use synonyms
, and Apple—between 2007 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, Nokia
initially
Linking Words
 dominated the market,
whereas
Linking Words
Samsung
Use synonyms
 experienced the most substantial growth, ultimately becoming the leading manufacturer by 2012.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
Ericsson
Use synonyms
 and
Motorola
Use synonyms
 witnessed considerable declines in their market share,
while
Linking Words
 Apple maintained a remarkable upward trajectory throughout the period.
Initially
Linking Words
, Nokia led the market by selling 436
million
Use synonyms
 units in 2007, followed by
Samsung
Use synonyms
 at 154
million
Use synonyms
. Nokia’s
sales
Use synonyms
subsequently
Linking Words
 peaked at 475
million
Use synonyms
 in 2008 before entering a steady downward trend over the remaining years.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
Samsung
Use synonyms
's figures increased consistently, reaching 282
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010 and climbing
further
Linking Words
 to 396.5
million
Use synonyms
 by 2012.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Samsung
Use synonyms
 overtook Nokia, whose
sales
Use synonyms
 had dwindled to 335
million
Use synonyms
 by the final year.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, both
Ericsson
Use synonyms
 and
Motorola
Use synonyms
 experienced a severe downturn.
Motorola
Use synonyms
's
sales
Use synonyms
 plummeted from 165
million
Use synonyms
 in 2007 to a mere 28
million
Use synonyms
 in 2012, despite a brief, minor recovery in 2011.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
Ericsson
Use synonyms
's figures shrank consistently, dropping from 102
million
Use synonyms
 to match
Motorola
Use synonyms
 at 28
million
Use synonyms
 over the same timeframe. Apple,
however
Linking Words
, exhibited the opposite pattern. Starting at a modest 2.3
million
Use synonyms
 units in 2007, its
sales
Use synonyms
 climbed steadily to 42
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010 before surging to 135.8
million
Use synonyms
 by 2012, representing the most dramatic relative expansion among the five companies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words ericsson, samsung, motorola, million, sales with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual sales
  • fluctuations
  • market saturation
  • technological advancements
  • consumer trends
  • brand dominance
  • growth trajectory
  • market share
  • innovations
  • peak sales
  • decline
  • stagnate
  • proliferate
  • exponential growth
  • market dynamics
  • forecast
What to do next:
Look at other essays: