IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people think that schools should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion? Write at least 250 words

#minutes #topic #people #schools #students #abilities
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Some individuals are of the opinion that when it comes to choosing
students
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,
schools
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 should focus on their educational
abilities
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. Others,
nevertheless
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, suggest that it is necessary for
schools
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 to choose
students
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 by considering their own personal
abilities
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 and passions.
Although
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 both views hold merit, I agree more with the latter perspective
due to
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 some reasons that are elucidated
further
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 in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, there are some underlying reasons that explain why people believe that
schools
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 should choose their
students
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 based on their study
abilities
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. In
schools
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, where education is the top priority, so focusing on
students
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 who have a high level of education may bring about a huge and profound benefit for the improvements in the
overall
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 quality of the educational system of the
schools
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.
For instance
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,
students
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 who have similar academic capabilities may allow teachers to convey knowledge effectively, which
also
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 reduces the potential for confusion or frustration in the classroom.
Moreover
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, when
schools
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 choose
students
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 who have comparable academic
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 with each other, it can create a professional study environment, which directly fosters both the teaching and learning experience.
On the other hand
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, opponents of the previous view claim that
schools
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 should have
students
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 have different
abilities
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 in the classroom.
Students
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 tend to be more likely to stay focused when they study subjects aligned with their personal interests and passions.
Therefore
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,
students
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 should be taught at their own pace, which
also
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 prevents them from being overwhelmed.
Moreover
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,
this
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 approach fosters a more diverse studying environment, where
students
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 from different fields and with various strengths can learn from each other.
For example
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, in a class, by allowing each to focus on their area of interest and progress at their own speed, the classroom becomes a place of mutual growth, where
students
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 can share their knowledge with others. In conclusion,
although
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 there are mixed opinions on determining what factors are more important in choosing
students
Use synonyms
, I believe that
schools
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 should choose their
students
Use synonyms
 having different learning
abilities
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 to make a diverse studying environment.
Submitted by elsenglish16992 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the essay task are addressed evenly. While you have effectively discussed both views and stated your opinion, expanding more on why your supporting opinion aligns with the points presented could be beneficial. Including additional real-world examples would also enrich your argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear paragraphing to ensure smooth transition between ideas. While your essay demonstrates good structure, you may consider enhancing cohesion with the use of more connectors or conjunctions when transitioning between arguments.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both viewpoints, providing a balanced examination in alignment with the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the writer's overall perspective, creating a strong framework for the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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