In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that young
people
apply for work after finishing high school
. It is my belief that the positive effects of this
phenomenon certainly outweigh its disadvantages.
This
disadvantage of Correct determiner usage
The
this
development is that young people
are unlikely acquire
a higher salary because they might not have Add the particle
to acquire
practical
skills required. Correct article usage
the practical
This
means that people
with qualifications are more likely to get well-paid.
Despite this
, there are significant advantages it can bring to people
's lives. Firstly
, young people
are more likely happy and independent in their life. This
is because they have flexible time to do whatever they want rather than attend lectures and prepare for exams in turtery
Correct your spelling
nursery
tertiary
surgery
school
. For example
, according to
the latest survey conducted by Bangkok University, Thailand, it was revealed that 60 Change preposition
apply
percent
of teenagers from Change the spelling
per cent
rural
Add an article
the rural
area
get a part-time job during studying in high Fix the agreement mistake
areas
school
. They then
tend to get full-time job
after finishing Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
school
.
In addition
to this
, on a wider level
it may Add a comma
level,
also
benefit young people
achieve
in their career early because they start working at Fix the infinitive
to achieve
young
age and accumulate Add an article
a young
considerably
Change the word
considerable
experiences
at work. To Fix the agreement mistake
experience
illuatrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
this
, in a recent educational journal, it has been cited that there are some young managers working at company
nowadays.
In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that the benefits of working after Correct article usage
the company
finising
high Correct your spelling
finishing
school
, in terms of independent life and achievment
in Correct your spelling
achievement
achievements
career
prevail over the downsides. Correct article usage
a career
However
, it is recommended young people
can practice studying in
online Change preposition
apply
for practicing
their Change preposition
to practice
skill
.Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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development
Ensure all arguments are fully developed. For instance, provide more detailed examples of why young people might choose work over university and how it benefits them.
structure
Focus on maintaining clarity by structuring your essay clearly with appropriate paragraphing and transitions between ideas.
language
Be mindful of sentence structure and word choice to avoid small grammatical inaccuracies.
structure
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear framework for the argument.
analysis
There is a recognition of both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
evidence
The essay tries to incorporate examples to support the main points, which strengthens the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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