IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

“It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. Which is more important? Why? Write about 200-250 words to improve your opinions in this space”

#“it #“not #books #contrast #space”
Knowledge
 plays
the
Correct article usage
a
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 vital role in the life of a human being.Some people assert that practical
knowledge
 is more worthwhile
while
 others believe that bookish
knowledge
 is more worthy.I partially concur with the first statement.I will explain both ideas in the
impending
Correct word choice
following
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 paragraphs.
Firstly
 ,Practical
knowledge
 is grasped by the mind easily and is retained for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
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 period of time as compared to the
theoratical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
.
For instance
, a lot of countries have made
the
Correct article usage
apply
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practical
knowledge
 a part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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academic life
the
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apply
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in order to understand and visually observe the
resuts
Correct your spelling
results
what ever
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whatever
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 they are studying in the
books
this
give
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gives
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 them
the
Correct article usage
a
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 better idea
how
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of how
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 actually things are working.
An other
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Another
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 heated argument is that Practical
knowledge
enable
Change the verb form
enables
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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students to earn some money
in addition
 to the development of
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 the students who are working in
addtion
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addition
 to the university are likely independent from parents financially.
On the contrary
,
Other group
Change the wording
another group
Other groups
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 of
the
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apply
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people thinks that
books
 are more important.They think that you can not reach
to
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apply
show examples
the final decision if you do not know the detailed background of the problem which
ostentially
Correct your spelling
essentially
potentially
 comes from
books
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 the students in
lab
Add an article
the lab
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 can not perform the experiment if they do not know what is the background of the topic and how to validate the results.
Secondly
,
Peaople beleives
Correct your spelling
people believe
 that
books
 are only the source of
the
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apply
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knowledge
,
Although
 practical things are essential
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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apprently
Correct your spelling
apparently
 they are
drived
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derived
 from
books
 .In every walk of
life
Add a comma
life,
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 practical things are first documented
then
Correct word choice
and then
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 implemented so
books
 are the origin
for example
 a doctor
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 for long hours before performing
a
Remove the article
apply
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surgery the same is true for all other fields.
To conclude
 ,I think all forms of information are equally important but
also
 in order to apply something in the real world it is necessary to gather the information about it and to analyze it,so considering that fact I concur that
books
 are
main
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the main
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 source of
knowledge
.
Submitted by shehzadarshad976 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear main idea that reinforces your thesis statement. For example, separate the paragraph on earning money from skills to avoid disrupting the flow.
task achievement
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and conciseness. Reduce repetitive phrases, and improve word choice for better clarity and expression.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which bookend the main discussion effectively.
task achievement
Good attempt at providing contrasting viewpoints and a well-thought conclusion showcasing a reasoned opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • experiential learning
  • theoretical knowledge
  • emotional intelligence
  • real-world application
  • comprehensive understanding
  • unique experiences
  • personalized learning
  • structured information
  • cultural wisdom
  • modern discoveries
  • rigorous checks
  • decision-making abilities
  • lasting impression
  • balanced approach
  • practical skills
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