IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

“It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. Which is more important? Why? Write about 200-250 words to improve your opinions in this space”

#“it #“not #books #contrast #space”
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Knowledge
Use synonyms
 plays
the
Correct article usage
a
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 vital role in the life of a human being.Some people assert that practical
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is more worthwhile
while
Linking Words
 others believe that bookish
knowledge
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 is more worthy.I partially concur with the first statement.I will explain both ideas in the
impending
Correct word choice
following
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 paragraphs.
Firstly
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 ,Practical
knowledge
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 is grasped by the mind easily and is retained for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
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 period of time as compared to the
theoratical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
.
For instance
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, a lot of countries have made
the
Correct article usage
apply
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practical
knowledge
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 a part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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academic life
the
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apply
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in order to understand and visually observe the
resuts
Correct your spelling
results
what ever
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whatever
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 they are studying in the
books
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this
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give
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gives
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 them
the
Correct article usage
a
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 better idea
how
Change preposition
of how
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 actually things are working.
An other
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Another
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 heated argument is that Practical
knowledge
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enable
Change the verb form
enables
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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students to earn some money
in addition
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 to the development of
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
For
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example
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example,
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 the students who are working in
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
 to the university are likely independent from parents financially.
On the contrary
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,
Other group
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another group
Other groups
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people thinks that
books
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 are more important.They think that you can not reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the final decision if you do not know the detailed background of the problem which
ostentially
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essentially
potentially
 comes from
books
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.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 the students in
lab
Add an article
the lab
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 can not perform the experiment if they do not know what is the background of the topic and how to validate the results.
Secondly
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,
Peaople beleives
Correct your spelling
people believe
 that
books
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 are only the source of
the
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apply
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knowledge
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,
Although
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 practical things are essential
but
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apply
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apprently
Correct your spelling
apparently
 they are
drived
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derived
 from
books
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 .In every walk of
life
Add a comma
life,
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 practical things are first documented
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then
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and then
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 implemented so
books
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 are the origin
for example
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 a doctor
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 for long hours before performing
a
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apply
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surgery the same is true for all other fields.
To conclude
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 ,I think all forms of information are equally important but
also
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 in order to apply something in the real world it is necessary to gather the information about it and to analyze it,so considering that fact I concur that
books
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 are
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 source of
knowledge
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shehzadarshad976 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear main idea that reinforces your thesis statement. For example, separate the paragraph on earning money from skills to avoid disrupting the flow.
task achievement
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and conciseness. Reduce repetitive phrases, and improve word choice for better clarity and expression.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which bookend the main discussion effectively.
task achievement
Good attempt at providing contrasting viewpoints and a well-thought conclusion showcasing a reasoned opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • experiential learning
  • theoretical knowledge
  • emotional intelligence
  • real-world application
  • comprehensive understanding
  • unique experiences
  • personalized learning
  • structured information
  • cultural wisdom
  • modern discoveries
  • rigorous checks
  • decision-making abilities
  • lasting impression
  • balanced approach
  • practical skills
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