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Writing Samples
Band 6

Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#person #life #luck
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As everyone knows, successful humans can achieve their goals, they depend on the endeavour,
labours
Fix the agreement mistake
labour
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, and so on.
However
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, some issue another view, they think
people
Use synonyms
's success is
due to
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luck
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 most of the time. As far as I am concerned, I partially disagree with the latter position.
People
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 who support achieving their aims in life mostly related to
luck
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 give another distinctive prospect, they feel human beings' lives have been controlled by their destiny since birth. Whatever victory or failure is arranged by an unknown power, or God.
Therefore
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, if one person can accomplish his or her objective, they are inevitably beloved by fortune, and all events and
people
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 he or she faces and encounters will drive them to step forward
favourable
Change preposition
with favourable
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 results.
Therefore
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, they do not believe in coincidence or accident.
Conversely
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, I believe
people
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 who
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their targets count on not just
luck
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, but
also
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 several factors,
such
Linking Words
 as the
labours
Fix the agreement mistake
labour
show examples
, connections, and so on. Without a doubt, most
people
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 usually put a lot of effort into their plans and they are determined to complete tasks, so those are reasons why some
people
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 could obtain attainment.
As a result
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, it is requisite to work hard if they desire to reach their aims.
Moreover
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,
people
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 have to get themself acquainted with various kinds of
people
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,
in other words
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, do some networking to acknowledge more opportunities. After all, achievement can not be made just by one's effort.
Additionally
Linking Words
, chances are necessary and play a role in our lifetime. If everyone does the equivalent work, some of them are inclined to achieve their dreams, so it has something to do with fortune. In a nutshell, as previously stated, there are several causes which influence our road to goals. Being industrious and having a wholehearted attitude toward our aims are indispensable and paramount.
Besides
Linking Words
, exterior impacts, including friends, the environment, and even
luck
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,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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 a subsidiary or minor capacity. With the help of destiny, it may speed up the progress of our plans.
Submitted by hayashidajinja820 on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Drawing on personal experience or widely recognized examples could enhance your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. Some sentences could transition more smoothly into the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion which clearly presents your stance on the topic.
task achievement
The main points are supported with arguments that are relevant to the topic.
task achievement
The essay shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic and offers a balanced viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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