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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, having a pet has become a lifestyle, and many
people
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 keep
pets
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 in their houses. Some
people
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 argue that keeping
pets
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 has a good impact on their
children
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,
while
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 others think it is risky and can be harmful to their
health
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.
Nevertheless
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, I would say that keeping
pets
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 can have positive impacts
for
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on
show examples
children
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 for some reasons that are set out below. On one side, some
people
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 argue that
pets
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 can be dangerous for youngsters. There were some incidents when
pets
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 attacked and wounded the owners.
In contrast
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, I would argue that there were different cases when keeping
pets
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 would give benefits to
children
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.
For instance
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, a dog can save
children
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 from danger and grow a sense of
care
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 and compassion in their hearts as they learn to take
care
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 of the
pets
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 and feed them. Another argument against keeping
pets
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 is that they can harm their owner's
health
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 by bringing critical illnesses when fleas, viruses, or bacteria contaminate
people
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 and cause severe
health
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 issues.
While
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 there is probably some truth in it, the owner of the
pets
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 can maintain their
health
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 and hygiene by vaccinating them
to
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at
show examples
 the vet so that they will not risk the pet owners. Other than that, keeping them will give
children
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 a responsibility to take
care
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 of some living things and can bring joy to them when playing with them. Taking everything into consideration,
although
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 some
people
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 may be afraid of the negatives brought by
pets
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, more
people
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 will find out that keeping
pets
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 will bring good things to their
children
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 because of growing a sense of responsibility, compassion, and
care
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.

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structure
Your introduction presents the topic well, but it could benefit from a clearer outline of the main points that will be discussed. Consider summarizing the viewpoints on pets more explicitly to guide the reader.
cohesion
In the body paragraphs, you should aim for smoother transitions between points. Use linking words like 'Furthermore', 'Additionally', or 'On the other hand' to enhance the flow of your arguments and make the relationship between them clearer.
completeness
While you mentioned some health risks associated with keeping pets, it might be useful to expand on these risks further to provide a more balanced discussion. Also, be sure to include more examples that reflect both sides of the argument.
idea
You have articulated your opinion clearly, and your arguments for the benefits of pet ownership are thoughtfully presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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