Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #pets #children

Some people believe that having

pets

is beneficial for

children

while

others argue that it can be dangerous and unhealthy.

Therefore

, in my opinion, the benefits of keeping

pets

for

children

outweigh the risks, and I will discuss some reasons why

this

situation happens below.

To begin

with, keeping

pets

can be a good thing for a child’s development.

Pets

, especially dogs and cats can teach important life skills

such

as responsibility, empathy, and patience.

Children

who help feed, clean, and care for their

pets

can learn how to take responsibility for another living being.

Furthermore

pets

can provide emotional and companionship, which help to reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stress and anxiety.

This

bond can

also

improve their social skills, as they often learn to communicate with their

pets

and may even become more comfortable interacting with people.

On the other hand

, there are risks associated with keeping

pets

. Some animals can be unpredictable, and their behaviour might pose a threat to young

children

such

as biting and scratching.

In addition

pets

can carry diseases or parasites that might be harmful to

children

, particularly if proper hygiene is not maintained.

Moreover

children

with allergies or asthma may

also

face health risks from pet dander or fur, which worsen their symptoms. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pets

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

show examples

well-trained and

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

properly maintained can provide benefits for

children

. By educating

children

on how to interact safely with animals and maintaining good hygiene, the negative effects can be minimized. Ultimately,

pets

can play a positive role in

children

’s lives, helping them to develop emotionally and socially.

Submitted by riani.the2 on Thu Oct 10 2024

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task achievement

Consider adding more specific examples or evidence to support your claims about the benefits and risks of keeping pets.

task achievement

Try to explore the different types of pets and how they individually impact children's development and health.

task achievement

Ensure each point is elaborated with comprehensive ideas and clear connections to fully develop your main points.

coherence cohesion

Consider using transition words more consistently to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, clearly stating the writer's viewpoint and summarizing the main points discussed.

coherence cohesion

The main points are logically arranged, creating a clear structure that is easy to follow.

task achievement

The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, giving a balanced viewpoint.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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