IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #pets #children
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Few people
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
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 to believe that having
pets
Use synonyms
 is good for little ones when somebody else
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 that it is threatening and not good for health. There are pros and cons
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 owning
animals
Use synonyms
 with
children
Use synonyms
 at home.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
pets
Use synonyms
 can teach
children
Use synonyms
 with
responsibillities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
, they can learn to take care.
For instance
Linking Words
 when they give their
pets
Use synonyms
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
show examples
 or
cleaning
Wrong verb form
clean
show examples
 up the mess their
animals
Use synonyms
 make. And having a furbaby is fun, when
children
Use synonyms
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 with them running around and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 some tricks. It
also
Linking Words
 can be a companionship when
children
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 sleeping or doing some activities if their
pets
Use synonyms
 are dogs and cats
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since they can protect and distract
children
Use synonyms
 from stress. Among the advantages,
pets
Use synonyms
 are often dangerous. Again when they have dogs or cats,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can scratch them if their nails are not chopped and will end up having an infection.
Virus
Add an article
The virus
A virus
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 a thing when keeping
animals
Use synonyms
, toddler can be infected
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 virus. Other than that, When the child is very young they can choke on their
Use synonyms
pets
Change noun form
pet's
pets'
show examples
 toys since the size
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to be small and have an interesting shape and
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
. In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages of owning
animals
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 having
children
Use synonyms
 in the house. But it depends on how they take care of their
pets
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
Try to further develop the main points in the body paragraphs to provide a more complete response. Expand your arguments to include further details or examples that support your perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should logically connect ideas. It seems that the flow between paragraphs could be enhanced by using more varied connectors and transitions to guide the reader.
task achievement
Work on improving precision in language usage. Some sentences are slightly awkward. Try to revise for clarity and smoothness.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The essay maintains a balanced discussion between the pros and cons of having pets for children, which shows an ability to consider multiple viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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