IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #pets #children
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Some people believe that having
pets
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 is beneficial for
children
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,
while
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 others argue that it can be dangerous and unhealthy.
Therefore
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, in my opinion, the benefits of keeping
pets
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 for
children
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 outweigh the risks, and I will discuss some reasons why
this
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 situation happens below.
To begin
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 with, keeping
pets
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 can be a good thing for a child’s development.
Pets
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, especially dogs and cats can teach important life skills
such
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 as responsibility, empathy, and patience.
Children
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 who help feed, clean, and care for their
pets
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 can learn how to take responsibility for another living being.
Furthermore
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,
pets
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 can provide emotional and companionship, which help to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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stress and anxiety.
This
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 bond can
also
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 improve their social skills, as they often learn to communicate with their
pets
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 and may even become more comfortable interacting with people.
On the other hand
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, there are risks associated with keeping
pets
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. Some animals can be unpredictable, and their behaviour might pose a threat to young
children
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,
such
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 as biting and scratching.
In addition
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,
pets
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 can carry diseases or parasites that might be harmful to
children
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, particularly if proper hygiene is not maintained.
Moreover
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,
children
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 with allergies or asthma may
also
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 face health risks from pet dander or fur, which worsen their symptoms. In conclusion,
the
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apply
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pets
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are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
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 well-trained and
have
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apply
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properly maintained can provide benefits for
children
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. By educating
children
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 on how to interact safely with animals and maintaining good hygiene, the negative effects can be minimized. Ultimately,
pets
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 can play a positive role in
children
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’s lives, helping them to develop emotionally and socially.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or evidence to support your claims about the benefits and risks of keeping pets.
task achievement
Try to explore the different types of pets and how they individually impact children's development and health.
task achievement
Ensure each point is elaborated with comprehensive ideas and clear connections to fully develop your main points.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transition words more consistently to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, clearly stating the writer's viewpoint and summarizing the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically arranged, creating a clear structure that is easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, giving a balanced viewpoint.
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