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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

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Nowadays , there is a growing problem of increased doping among
athletes
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. Those who choose to
use
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 performance-enhancing
drugs
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 will face serious
consequences
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 .
As a result
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, I believe that certain actions should be taken in order to reduce the prevalence of doping. The
use
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 of
drugs
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 in sports has serious
consequences
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.
Athletes
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 who take performance-enhancing substances are at risk of long-term health problems,
such
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 as heart issues. It can be difficult for
athletes
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 to stop using these
drugs
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due to
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 their addictive nature.
For example
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, Some famous examples of
athletes
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 who have encountered problems related to dietary supplements include football player Fernando Torres, who experienced severe digestive problems after taking dietary supplements .
Therefore
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, it is crucial to reduce the availability and
use
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 of performance-enhancing
drugs
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 in sports. To combat the increasing
use
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 of doping, several measures can be taken.
Firstly
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, implementing mandatory and rigorous pre-competition screenings can deter
athletes
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 from resorting to performance-enhancing
drugs
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. By ensuring thorough checks,
athletes
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 will be less inclined to take the risk of being caught.
Secondly
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, increasing awareness through educational programs and campaigns can effectively discourage
athletes
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, especially the younger ones, from considering doping. By educating them about the negative
consequences
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 and long-term effects,
athletes
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 can make informed decisions and understand the futility of using
such
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 substances. In conclusion, doping has negative
consequences
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 for
athletes
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, including career-ending sanctions and financial losses. It is important to implement measures
such
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 as mandatory check-ups and increasing awareness about the detrimental effects of
drugs
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 to address
this
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 issue.

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Task Response
Expand on the examples you provide to make them more relevant and connected to the main argument. The mention of specific athletes like Fernando Torres needs a clearer link to the broader topic of doping.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure a more logical progression of ideas between paragraphs. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and arguments.
Language Use
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and more precise vocabulary to better express your ideas, making the essay more engaging and persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anabolic steroids
  • Health ramifications
  • Stigmatization
  • Disqualification
  • Anti-doping agencies
  • Therapeutic Use Exemptions (TUEs)
  • Integrity of sports
  • Biological passport
  • In-competition testing
  • Out-of-competition testing
  • Whistleblower
  • Ban substances
  • Suspension
  • World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA)
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