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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows how elderly people in Europe spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows how elderly people in Europe spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #europe #time #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the activities elderly people in Europe spent their leisure time in terms of
percentage
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it was evident that watching
televison
Correct your spelling
television
 was consistently popular among other activities from the period of 1980 to 2010.
Although
Linking Words
,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2010, Hiking achieved the highest popularity of all time. The activity that had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of older people spending their free time during
1980s
Change the article
the 1980s
show examples
 was watching
televison
Correct your spelling
television
 with 60%
percentage
Use synonyms
. Consistently, it was
popular
Correct article usage
a popular
show examples
 leisure activity all throughout the timeline with 60% to 70% recorded data from 1980 to 2010.
Then
Linking Words
, it was
consequently
Linking Words
 followed by Theatre which had 50% in
percentage
Use synonyms
 from the start of
1980s
Correct article usage
the 1980s
show examples
, yet its popularity
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by 2010
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 only 40% in
number
Use synonyms
. Reading and Hiking
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 were close in
number
Use synonyms
,
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 Reading
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 more popular by 10% compared to the latter. But, during the year 2010 Hiking spikely rose
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 80%, which is four times from the year 1980. Meanwhile, Surfing the Internet was the least popular during 1980 with only 5% recorded in
number
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, during 2010 it rose dramatically by almost 5 times with 50% in
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by emmagallares on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Elderly population
  • Leisure activities
  • Trends
  • Popularity
  • Steady rise
  • Gradual increase
  • Growing interest
  • Decline
  • Consistent
  • Upward trend
  • Resurgence
  • Comparative analysis
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