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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the average muscle change in the prices of copper, nickel, and zinc in 2014.

The graph below shows the average muscle change in the prices of copper, nickel, and zinc in 2014.
The following chart illustrates the percentage of changes
occurred
Correct pronoun usage
that occurred
show examples
 in monthly prices of three
matals
Correct your spelling
metals
 of copper, nickel and zinc in 2014. At first glance, it is evident that
although
Linking Words
 nickel had the most
change
Use synonyms
 in its
price
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 in January, it became the one with the least
change
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 in December. The opposite situation
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happens
 for zinc, having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little
change
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, compared to other metals
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of 2014 and turning into the one with the least
change
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year. Looking at the details of the copper
price
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, it experienced several stabilities. Starting with 2% in January, it had a slight fall during the next two
months
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 at
nealy
Correct your spelling
nearly
 0.5%.
Although
Linking Words
 it
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
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 off for a month, it had another fall in May. After remaining stable for only a month, it started to rise in
June
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, reaching 1%. The proportion stayed steady
untill
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until
 September, followed by a slow decrease in October.
However
Linking Words
, it ended up at approximately 1.5% in December. Taking a closer look at the
change
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 in nickel
price
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, It was 6% in January
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but sank in the next two
months
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 at 1%. From March to
June
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, it dropped significantly again at -3%. With a slight increase, it reached -1 in July
,
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apply
show examples
 and leveled off for the next 3
months
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. After having a fluctuation, it reached 1% in December.
Regurding
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Regarding
 the
change
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 in zinc
price
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, it rose from 1% to 3% in a month, but
then
Linking Words
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 gradually from February to
June
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. Interestingly, it had some changes from
June
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 to October but had the same
price
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 in these two
months
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
, it jumped in November and became 1% in the end.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words change, price, months, june with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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