Do you feel it is better for young people leaving school to study further at University or go straight into the workplace? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples for your knowledge and experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A group of individuals
presents
Correct subject-verb agreement
present
show examples
the view that young
people
Use synonyms
should continue their
education
Use synonyms
by attending
university
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
others believe it is more advantageous to enter the workforce immediately. I strongly agree with the former opinion, as
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
not only provides specialized knowledge but
also
Linking Words
fosters personal development, both of which can lead to long-term
career
Use synonyms
success. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
justifiably argue that pursuing higher
education
Use synonyms
allows young
people
Use synonyms
to gain a deeper understanding of their chosen field. By acquiring specialized knowledge, graduates have a better chance of securing high-paying jobs in competitive industries like medicine, engineering, or finance.
For example
Linking Words
, without a
university
Use synonyms
degree, it would be impossible for someone to become a doctor or an architect, professions that require specific academic qualifications. They
also
Linking Words
present the sound argument that
university
Use synonyms
contributes to
overall
Linking Words
personal development. Higher
education
Use synonyms
enhances critical thinking, communication, and problem-solving skills, which are highly valued in today’s knowledge-based economy.
In addition
Linking Words
,
university
Use synonyms
life provides students with networking opportunities. Connecting with peers, professors, and industry professionals can offer future
career
Use synonyms
advantages,
such
Linking Words
as internships or job referrals, which might not be available to those who start working immediately after school.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another group of
people
Use synonyms
claim that entering the workforce immediately allows young
people
Use synonyms
to gain practical
experience
Use synonyms
and earn an income earlier. They argue that hands-on
experience
Use synonyms
in industries
such
Linking Words
as sales, hospitality, or trades can lead to faster
career
Use synonyms
progression, as young workers can develop professional skills and build a resume earlier.
However
Linking Words
, I do not find
this
Linking Words
argument convincing, as many industries place greater value on formal
education
Use synonyms
over time.
Although
Linking Words
practical
experience
Use synonyms
is beneficial, it might limit one's
career
Use synonyms
growth in professions that require advanced qualifications.
For instance
Linking Words
, an individual with years of work
experience
Use synonyms
but no formal
education
Use synonyms
may still struggle to reach senior positions in fields like management or research.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my view, continuing
education
Use synonyms
at
university
Use synonyms
is a better option for young
people
Use synonyms
leaving school.
University
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
provides specialized knowledge and essential skills that significantly improve future employment prospects.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
entering the workforce immediately may offer short-term benefits,
such
Linking Words
as early income, it does not provide the long-term
career
Use synonyms
growth and opportunities that higher
education
Use synonyms
can facilitate.
Submitted by www.prnmmdn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Ensure that examples provided are directly linked to the main points to enhance clarity and effectiveness.
logical structure
Continue using structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details to maintain the strong coherence you already demonstrate.
introduction conclusion present
You presented a clear and well-balanced introduction and conclusion that effectively summarizes your main arguments.
logical structure
The essay consistently maintains a logical flow between paragraphs and presents a coherent argument throughout.
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported throughout the essay with relevant explanations and logical reasoning.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • Specialized knowledge
  • Employment opportunities
  • Personal development
  • Critical thinking
  • Communication skills
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Networking
  • Career advancement
  • Practical experience
  • Professional skills
  • On-the-job training
  • Industries and professions
  • Earn income
  • Formal education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: