IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #doubt #globalisation #world #people #business #nations #criticise #progress
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Globalisation
 has
bring
Change the form of the verb
brought
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 so many advantages to the planet by connecting
people
, economics and nations across the globe.
However
, some
people
 see
this
 as a negative approach, which disturbs
this
 process. I strongly agree that
globalisation
 has provided more interaction to the
people
 worldwide,
as well as
 making business more successful and
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
 peace to
countries
. More
people
 can create new connections with other
people
 across different
countries
 by making
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
full
usage
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of the internet through social media apps.
For instance
, they can gain more information about different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 by meeting other citizens online. Apart from that, they can make a good relationship with foreigners by getting
along with
 them through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media apps.
Furthermore
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the
countries
 are more united with the help of
globalisation
.
For example
, the organisation of the United Nations that
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
countries
 together under one platform has contributed
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace to
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
 world.
This
 organisation has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to a better understanding point of views
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each country, which prevent any wars from happening in the future. Economics
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
Correct your spelling
affected
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effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 as more businesses from each country get
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 chance to
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
collaboration
Replace the word
collaborate
show examples
 with other businesses.
This
 can be very beneficial to one's nation as
this
 can help to exhibit a rise in the economy of the country. As an example, these businesses can increase more labouring activities from other
countries
 to expand their market values. In conclusion, connecting
people
,
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 and nations worldwide
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 very beneficial to each side with the help of
globalisation
. By creating more ways to bring every
sectors
Change to a singular noun
sector
show examples
 together, I'm sure there are a lot of other advantages waiting to come.
Submitted by alisyashazzy on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main argument to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Enhance clarity by more deeply exploring examples that specifically support broader ideas, such as how globalization directly contributes to economic growth.
task achievement
Consider expanding on the drawbacks of globalization briefly to provide a balanced view, even if your stance is in strong agreement with the benefits.
task achievement
The essay provides a strong stance on globalization, effectively capturing the benefits in terms of social, economic, and political aspects.
coherence cohesion
The organization of the essay includes an introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points clearly, maintaining a consistent argumentative structure.
support
Use of examples like the United Nations helps to concretize the abstract benefits of globalization, which enhances understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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