IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
The given pie charts are provided
iinformation
Correct your spelling
information
 about the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fats, and added sugars in daily nutrients.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 dinner consistently contains the highest contributions of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat,
while
Linking Words
snacks
Use synonyms
 contribute the most added sugar, which differs from the percentages for
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat. Regarding
sodium
Use synonyms
, the largest
amount
Use synonyms
 is in dinner at 43%, followed by
lunch
Use synonyms
 at around 29%. Meanwhile,
snacks
Use synonyms
 and breakfast each consist of the same
amount
Use synonyms
, 14%. Turning to saturated fats, the lowest percentages are in breakfast and
snacks
Use synonyms
 at 16% and 21%, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the highest amounts are found at dinner and
lunch
Use synonyms
, at 37% and 26%, in turn.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the largest
amount
Use synonyms
 of sugar is found in
snacks
Use synonyms
 at 42%,
while
Linking Words
 it is significantly smaller in
lunch
Use synonyms
 at 19%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the percentages for breakfast and
lunch
Use synonyms
 are somewhat similar, at 16% and 23%, respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, sodium, snacks, lunch with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nutrients
  • Unhealthy
  • Daily intake
  • Percentage
  • Carbohydrates
  • Fats
  • Proteins
  • Meals
  • Balanced diet
  • Consumption
  • Excess
  • Health implications
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Convenience foods
  • Fast foods
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Healthy eating habits
  • Dietary recommendations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: