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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time
Spending
time
 with friends or alone is totally a personal choice,there are two main views
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 subject one
group
 believes that younglings and
children
 should spend their free
time
 in team activities,
while
 others think it is better to pass their
time
 alone,In
this
 essay ,I will discuss both views and
according to
 my opinion ,being
invloved
Correct your spelling
involved
 in
group
 activities has numerous and countless benefits. On the one hand, first and foremost,
children
 managing leisure
time
 by themselves have some pros,in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
,it helps them to improve self-confidence, self-control,independence and
time
 management skills,
hence
,it is useful and beneficial for them when they have to stay alone and want to decide in many substantial and significant personal affairs,
in addition
,
while
 kids and
children
 are doing and spending on their hobbies and entertainments they can find their interests
as a result
 ,they feel more delightful and happier compared to that
time
 when they are in
group
 participation ,
For instance
:some young people who like to a musician can concentrate their proficiency in their idle
time
,
thus
 they may become a talented artist in the future.
On the other hand
 ,It is evident that more important for
children
 to be members of an organisation in their leisure
time
.
Firstly
 ,
group
 work teaches them collaboration, leadership and communication skills which do wonders for their personal development in their adult lives,
Secondly
, social organizations
such
 as helping to needy and charities activities do advantages for society ,
Finally
 ,these processes keep them occupied,and they are not contaminated to drug abuse or sticking to smartphones all day. In conclusion, I can understand why some parents give the right for kids to use their vain moments, but it seems to me that teamwork is more advantageous
Submitted by pardisghobadi on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity of ideas by using more varied sentence structures and connecting phrases to ensure each point flows seamlessly into the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples that clearly illustrate the points made, which will enhance the argument's relevance and persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces and concludes the discussion effectively, clearly stating the writer's opinion.
task achievement
Main points are adequately supported by logical explanations and examples, contributing to a comprehensive response.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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