The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern life style. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Food
is essential for the life of human being
.In Fix the agreement mistake
beings
this
modern era,Food
is easily available with a small effort that has enabled people
to adapt themselves in
Change preposition
to
this
speedy life. I absolutely concur with this
statement.This
essay will elucidate the pros and cons of this
in forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
,Modern developments in the
technology Correct article usage
apply
has
reduced the efforts of Correct subject-verb agreement
have
people
substantially to make food
.In past, people
had to do everything with their own hands ,there were manually operated stoves which take
a lot of Wrong verb form
took
time
in
to bake Change preposition
apply
food
.For instance
,People
used to collect woods
Fix the agreement mistake
wood
then
dry them
and after Correct pronoun usage
it
that
they Add a comma
that,
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilised
them
to cook something .Correct pronoun usage
it
On the contrary
, today everything is readily available and the job of hours has been reduced to few
minutes,Correct article usage
a few
that
saves Correct pronoun usage
which
the
Correct article usage
apply
time
and which in turn is being used to grow themselves with this
fast growing
world.Add a hyphen
fast-growing
In addition
, another advantage of this
technology is that It has ended the cooking at home. Now, you do not even need to spend few
minutes on cooking there are Correct article usage
a few
hundred
of mobile Correct your spelling
hundreds
app
by which you can buy Fix the agreement mistake
apps
Add an article
a meal
meal
of your own choice in Fix the agreement mistake
meals
minimum
possible Correct article usage
the minimum
time
.For example
,Just by making few
clicks on your phone, you can get Correct article usage
a few
the
anything you want to eat.It Correct article usage
apply
also
has increased the number of choices because, now ten people
in the party can order ten different types of foods.
However
,It also
haS
Correct your spelling
has
few
drawbacks and the number one drawback is that Correct article usage
a few
people
has
missed the fun they used to have Change the verb form
have
while
cooking the
Correct article usage
apply
food
at home .It has entirely eliminated this
practice from our society.So, in this
way people
do not cook food
,do not sit with each other and hence
it is effecting
the family values Correct your spelling
affecting
adversly
.Another disadvantage is that when Correct your spelling
adversely
people
order food
online most of the time
they do not get healthy food
.Resaturants
sell contaminated Correct your spelling
Restaurants
food
that effects
Correct your spelling
affects
the
health badly.Change the word
their
As a result
,In the race to meet the speedy life style
health is being sacrificed.
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
To conclude
,Although
, there are lot
of disadvantages Change the article
a lot
of
Change preposition
to
this
convenience ,But
still ,it has helped Remove the conjunction
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
to save their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
.A lot of automated machines are available that can make a large variety of food
in less than no time
.So,considering all these arguments I strongly agree that it has more advantages than disadvantages.Submitted by shehzadarshad976 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to maintain a balanced view by discussing the opposing sides more equally. For instance, provide a more detailed analysis of the disadvantages to match the depth of the advantages discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that transitional words and phrases are consistently used, such as 'Firstly', 'However', 'Moreover', which will help clarify the flow of ideas among paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Be sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and typos, such as "it is effecting" instead of "it is affecting" or "hundred of mobile app" instead of "hundreds of mobile apps."
Task Achievement
The essay clearly introduces the topic and presents a strong, clear position that agrees with the benefits of convenience foods.
Task Achievement
Good use of specific examples, like the availability of food through mobile apps, to illustrate the advantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear stance that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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