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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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In the contemporary epoch, from some individuals' standpoints, doctors, engineers, and other
people
Use synonyms
 who have special professions must work in their own
countries
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, other
people
Use synonyms
 think that the obligation is not useful, so
people
Use synonyms
 have the right to work wherever they want. Both of these views have positive and negative aspects,in my opinion, the benefits of
this
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 trend
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the drawbacks of it. On the one hand, some members of the public believe that it is not fair that these skilled
workforce
Correct your spelling
workers
show examples
 immigrate to other
countries
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 because their governments spend a lot of money on their training procedures.
In addition
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, if
this
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 trend continues, government officials will not prioritize their budget on
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
show examples
these
Change preposition
of these
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 sophisticated
people
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 who have crucial occupations.
Thus
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, developing
countries
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 encounter a deficiency of high-skilled
people
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, so they are not able to treat their patients or manufacture buildings and roads.
For instance
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, some African and third-world
countries
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 face starvation, the prevalence of diseases, and a lack of transportation facilities.
On the other hand
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, other members of society think that these
workforce
Correct your spelling
workers
show examples
 should have permission to go
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 because if they stay obligatorily in their
countries
Use synonyms
, they do not have adequate motivation to do their tasks correctly. Actually, these jobs need a lot of concentration to do them in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 correct way;
thus
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 they do not focus if governments force them to stay.
For example
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen in some developing
countries
Use synonyms
 like Iran
occurs
Verb problem
apply
show examples
some disasters like the destruction of the Plasco building because engineers do not pay attention and make several mistakes. In conclusion, both views have benefits and drawbacks. In my opinion, doctors, engineers, and other
people
Use synonyms
 should have the allowance to immigrate to other
countries
Use synonyms
 without any problems. because if they stay in their
countries
Use synonyms
, not only do they not have advantages for their
countries
Use synonyms
, but they
also
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 can cause huge crises.

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supporting main points
Ensure that each main point in the essay is clearly supported with specific and relevant examples or evidence, which can strengthen your argument and credibility.
clear ideas
Although your ideas are clear, strive to develop them more comprehensively by providing additional analysis or perspectives to further convince your reader.
balanced discussion
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the issue, providing a balanced view before presenting a personal opinion.
introduction conclusion
Both the introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly stating the topic and summarizing your views.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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