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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more work is being carried out by machines in all areas of our lives. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? Discuss with appropriate examples.

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These days many
works
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 are carried out by
machines
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 in all parts of our lives. The advantages of
this
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 phenomenon are completing
task
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tasks
show examples
 on
time
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, and saving
time
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 and energy. The disadvantages of working with the help of
machines
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 are all types of
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 cannot be done by them, and it causes unemployment
problem
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problems
show examples
. One of the advantages of doing
work
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 with the help of
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machine
Correct article usage
a machine
show examples
 is completing
task
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tasks
show examples
 on
time
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.
Machines
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 complete tasks within a timeframe.
Moreover
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, completing
work
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 with the help of
machines
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 saves
time
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 and energy. If a
machine
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 does a significant part of a human responsibility, a person can invest that
time
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 in self-care, or spend quality
time
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 with family.
For example
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,
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 we use
washing
Correct article usage
a washing
show examples
machine
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 to wash our clothes. It requires at least 1 hour to wash clothes, and if we do it by washing
machine
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, we can invest that
time
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 somewhere else. One of the disadvantages of doing
work
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 with
machines
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 is it creates job
shortage
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shortages
show examples
 in the job market. If human responsibilities can be done by
machines
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, companies will no longer
looking
Change the verb form
look
be looking
show examples
 for
human
Add an article
the human
a human
show examples
 workforce.
Moreover
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, all
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works
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work
show examples
 cannot be done by
machines
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 There are some
work
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 responsibilities, which
human
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humans
show examples
 can do only. These sorts of
works
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 cannot be done by
machines
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.
For example
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, raising a child cannot be done by a
machine
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. A parent or caregiver will understand the emotions and needs of the child, and a
machine
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 is not capable of doing that. In conclusion, all
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 cannot be done by
machines
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.
Although
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 it saves
time
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 and energy
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a human, it initiates unemployment problems in the job market.
Moreover
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,
machines
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 are not suitable to perform all types of tasks.

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vocabulary
Try to use more varied vocabulary to enhance your writing and reduce repetition.
idea elaboration
Ensure all ideas are fully elaborated to present a clearer picture for the reader.
flow and connectivity
Focus on using transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
supports
The essay provides relevant examples to support the discussed advantages and disadvantages.
summary
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
structure
The structure of the essay is clear, with a logical progression of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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