some people believe that alone children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes .other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that are affect them.
Nowadays, an increasing number of
people
think when children
make their own choices
, they will achieve confidence and be independent in the future and many other advantages. While
other
believe if Correct pronoun usage
others
children
are giventhe
choice of everyday matters, it will result in a selfish generation. I personally think given kids the choice for their daily matters it's so important to build their character but it should done wisely with some limitations and rules.
On the one hand, giving Correct your spelling
given the
children
the freedom to choose their clothes, food, and entertainment,
would lead to self-esteem generations
, that know exactly what they want and what should they do. Even though Change preposition
in generations
that is
true, it should done wisely. For example
, instead
of putting the child in the kitchen and told
him to prepare his meal, the parent can offer two or three meals and make him choose between them. That will definitely make him analyze his options and make logical Wrong verb form
telling
choices
, and that could only done under the guidance of their parent.
On the other hand
, some people
believe that these practices could spoil young people
and lead to disobedience. They believe that children
don't have enough awareness to make their own choices
and that not only would use a selfish and rebellious kid,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
may put them in unhealthy routine
and practices. Which could affect both physical and mental health.Fix the agreement mistake
routines
For example
, according to
the most
leading health organization, obesity problems are very common among young Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
, who make their own choices
without the guidance of their parents.
To conclude
, although
giving children
the power to choose is a very powerful way to build their personality and develop their skills, it also
could lead to dire consequences if not implemented in a proper way. So, making plans and educateing
young Correct your spelling
educating
educate
people
on how to choose logically is the best way to ensure safety. Furthermore
, putting punishment and rules is also
a good approach to keep them within limits.Submitted by adianalmozan on
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task achievement
Try to maintain consistency in your argumentation. While you present both sides of the argument, your position can be made clearer to strengthen your task response. More detailed examples with specific data or studies might help in supporting your points.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure that all parts of your essay are logically linked. Use connectors and transitions between sentences and paragraphs for better flow.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets the stage nicely, presenting both sides of the argument clearly.
task achievement
You provide a balanced perspective by discussing both potential benefits and drawbacks of allowing children to make their own choices.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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