Students perform better in school then they rewarded rather then punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answear and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or expirience.

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Scholars carry out better in school when they
rewarded
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are rewarded
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than punished . I support
idea
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the idea
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of awarding students for great
performing
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performance
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in school
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then
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and then
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giving punishments.
Overall
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, every
children
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child
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should have their individual approach
of
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to
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how parents
motivating
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motivate
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them for better improvements in school education, but parents
not
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do not
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always understand how
stimulate
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to stimulate
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their
childs
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children
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correctly
as well as
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teachers.
This
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essay will explore various opinions
of
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on
show examples
how to do it right without leading
it
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apply
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to any unfortunate consequences. First of all, there
are
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is
show examples
no right or wrong
option
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options
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to choose,
because
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as
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how
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as
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i
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I
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said earlier everyone
had
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has
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their unique driving force for improving grades. Motivation
one
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is one
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of
majority
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the majority
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key-factors
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key factors
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that can provide huge changes in our self-improvement and without it would be hard to make
breakthrough
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a breakthrough
the breakthrough
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.
For instance
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,
major
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a major
the major
show examples
part of scholars would be vastly more inspired if somebody
bestow
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bestows
show examples
even
tiny
Correct article usage
a tiny
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reward wherewith
eneormous
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enormous
punishmet
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punishment
. Students often find more joy in raising their grades when they receive some form of
remuniration
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remuneration
, which helps them stay engaged and focused.
On the other hand
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, some children may be deprived of any pleasure of gifts because their parents
gets
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get
show examples
them everything they want
in
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at
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any time. In
this
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case, only one way to show that before he will
recive
Correct your spelling
receive
a gift, it must be deserved with some perseverance. My own situation
contridicts
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contradicts
to
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apply
show examples
this
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one just
beacuse
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because
vast
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most
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of
time
Correct pronoun usage
my time
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i
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I
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was limited
in
Change preposition
to
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computer games. More free time on the console gave me significant motivation to
enhancement
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enhance
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my grades as well.
Submitted by stepanantoniuk07 on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, make sure to clearly support each point with relevant examples and details. In particular, expand on the introduction to better frame the discussion and strengthen the conclusion to encapsulate your main points.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, ensure that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words or phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, improve sentence structures to avoid abrupt transitions between ideas.
task achievement
The essay introduces a relevant topic, emphasizing the importance of student motivation in academic performance. This is a strong foundation for discussing educational strategies, a crucial subject.
task achievement
The discussion includes personal examples, which help to personalize and provide context to the arguments. This approach adds depth to the essay and demonstrates a genuine engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Overall, the essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction and main body of arguments. This structure aids the reader in following the writer's line of thought.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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