IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that books should be stopped in schools and that videos, films, and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A number of people believe that moving pictures, cinemas, and laptops are better than conventional reading
materials
Use synonyms
 in order to help the learning process. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as gadgets are providing more studying resources.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
tools
Use synonyms
 are influential for both students' and teachers' activities.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, technological developments have affected society's method of studying as gadgets are offering more schooling
materials
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, nowadays, it is critical for people to have a flexible source of information.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the gadgets are proven to be reliable in terms of information availability.
For instance
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
tools
Use synonyms
 can be used in several circumstances and places, so the students will be able to access learning supplements anytime and anywhere.
Thus
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 devices are very accessible.
As a result
Linking Words
, some latest technologies
such
Linking Words
 as computers, videos, and films are influencing pedagogues and learners' activity in school. It is happening because some devices are assisting them in terms of organizing
materials
Use synonyms
, both for studying and teaching.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
tools
Use synonyms
 are displaying an interesting way to boost
class
Use synonyms
 progress.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 noteworthy that
such
Linking Words
 machineries are attractive
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some folks.
For example
Linking Words
, several subjects in
class
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as geography, history, and experimental science can be displayed in a video, so the
class
Use synonyms
 members are not experiencing boredom.
Hence
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 options can attract the
class
Use synonyms
 members' attention.
To sum up
Linking Words
, cinemas, computers, and moving pictures store more information than traditional reading
materials
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
tools
Use synonyms
 are beneficial for
class
Use synonyms
 attendants' activity in the classroom

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly elaborates on a single idea related to the topic. Consider expanding on each point with more specific examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Try to provide a balanced view by addressing potential counterarguments or discussing the benefits of traditional reading materials, as this demonstrates a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use varied and more precise vocabulary to enhance the effectiveness of your communication. This will also help to make your ideas clearer and more impactful.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, guiding the reader effectively through your argument.
task achievement
You provide a solid opinion on the topic and present some relevant ideas to support your viewpoint, such as the accessibility of technology.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital mediums
  • visual and auditory learners
  • engagement
  • comprehension
  • outdated
  • interactive media
  • real-life scenarios
  • personalized learning
  • ecological impact
  • digital divide
  • screen time
  • tactile experience
  • memory retention
  • irreplaceable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: