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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You Are a Student at An English Language School and Are Living in Private Accommodation with Other Students from The School. You Have Not Had Hot Water or Heating for Some Time. The landlord’s Workmen Have Tried to Fix the Problem but Without Success. Write a Letter to The Landlord. In your Letter: State Your Reason for Writing. Describe the Problems. Propose a Solution.

#student #english #language #school #accommodation #students #water #time #landlord’s #workmen #success #landlord #reason
Dear Sir/Madam I am writing
this
 to raise my concern
against
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the heat and
water
 facilities in my apartment. I am living in 170 Kraft Ave Kitchener. For the
last
 2
weeks
Add a comma
weeks,
show examples
 I
am
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 facing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of hot
water
 and heating services. Even though the workmen had come twice; the problem persists. For your detailed understanding, I want to let you know
water
 is a basic everyday need and I cannot start my day without bathing. Staying without
water
 disturbs my living environment as a whole.
In addition
 to
this
, winter is approaching and there is a change in weather. So it will be more challenging to stay without a heating system in
this
 building.
Due to
this
 reason, there are higher chances of getting sick as well. To propose a solution I request you to hire a certified specialist who can work well and provide a concrete solution.
Instead
 of calling the serviceman again and again it is better to find an expert who can genuinely resolve my problem. Thank you for your attention to
this
 matter. I expect you to act upon
this
 as your priority. Sincerely, Navdeep Kaur
Submitted by knavdeep3011 on

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task achievement
Add more specific details regarding the previous attempts to fix the problem to strengthen the task response.
coherence cohesion
Consider separating the problems and the proposed solution into distinct paragraphs for even clearer structure.
suitable writing tone
The letter uses a polite and suitable tone throughout, which is appropriate for addressing a landlord.
logical structure
The letter has clear and distinct parts: reason for writing, describing the problems, and proposing a solution.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are well-written and appropriate for formal correspondence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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