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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#information #population #zealand #age #group #formation #features #comparisons
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The given data illustrates a comparison between the
population
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand between 2011 and 2012 over five major ranges of
ages
Use synonyms
; all
ages
Use synonyms
, under 15, 15-39, 40-64, and above 65.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that a range of 65+ was the
group
Use synonyms
 with the highest percentage of
change
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
in contrast
Linking Words
, under 15 and 15-39 was the
group
Use synonyms
 that experienced a decline the most.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the other
ages
Use synonyms
 had a positive
change
Use synonyms
 percentage. In terms of the higher percentage of
change
Use synonyms
, the majority
people
Use synonyms
 of above 65 in the first year began with 573.946
people
Use synonyms
, who experienced a relatively stable increase of 4% to 596,903
people
Use synonyms
 in 2012. Regarding the lowest
change
Use synonyms
 of
population
Use synonyms
, the
group
Use synonyms
 under 15 and 15-39 stood at 1577.256 and 1. 574.102, relatively.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, in 2012 decreased by around -0.2%, with a
population
Use synonyms
 of 896.364 and 1.57.102
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the other age
group
Use synonyms
, which is all
ages
Use synonyms
 and 40-64 rose precisely 0,6% in 2012,
while
Linking Words
 starting in 2011 for 4.381.126 and 1.331.907.
In addition
Linking Words
, the age
group
Use synonyms
 of 40-64 was the
group
Use synonyms
 with the highest number of the
population
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by yannn on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, ages, group, change, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population growth
  • age group
  • increase
  • decline
  • elderly population
  • aging population
  • working-age population
  • stable labor force
  • modest increase
  • significant change
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