In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In some nations there are more young teenagers
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
show examples
to enrol in
practical based
Add a hyphen
practical-based
show examples
training despite attending
university
. The main advantage is getting experience,
while
the disadvantage is not enjoying
university
life
. I think
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
of
this
situation outweigh the cons. Nowadays, people are seeking for better jobs to get a luxury
life
. Normally, fresh graduate
students
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
not get a
high paid
Correct your spelling
high-paying
show examples
job immediately. For
this
purpose, they have to work a lot to be experienced enough, But it can be seen in some countries that
students
are choosing to enroll in work-based training during their degree, so they can
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
some experience before entering into professional lives.
For example
, many young computer science
students
in Pakistan
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
to enrol themself in training at software houses, so when they become experienced, they get employment easily at
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
companies
such
as Google and Meta etc.
Hence
, the advantage of being an experienced person gave people a highly paid position, which
from
Change the preposition
in
show examples
my opinion, clearly
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
the drawbacks.
On the other hand
, the common drawback is not getting enough time to enjoy
university
life
and memorable moments, because the time will not come again ever.
Additionally
,
ttudents
Correct your spelling
students
usually do not get familiar with class presentations,
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
with their peers and having fun activities with their classmates. To illustrate, an individual who is not attending
university
daily, may not have any friends, so the person will going to feel alone at some moment of
life
. In conclusion,
students
are selecting work-based training in comparison to attending
university
in some states.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a person may not enjoy
university
life
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
getting
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
job and
outstanding
Correct article usage
an outstanding
show examples
life
outweigh the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
.
Submitted by kirivlogs0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to improve the overall logical structure by organizing your points more clearly. For example, dedicate separate paragraphs for each main point and ensure clear transitions between them.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are comprehensively explained. You could include more in-depth analysis or discussion on each advantage and disadvantage you present.
task achievement
Add more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This can help in illustrating your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, giving the response a well-rounded feel.
task achievement
You identified both an advantage and a disadvantage clearly, which shows an understanding of the task requirements.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!