The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the contemporary epoch, some individuals conceive that
workers
should work fewer days compared to their routines.
In other words
, they should have more weekend days because not only do they have more productivity, but they
also
have adequate time for hanging out with their families. On the one hand, if these workforces have more time for their breaks, they have better concentration on their tasks to do them
as well as
their bosses' expectations. Actually, whenever
workers
do a heavy workload every day, because of tiredness, they are not able to carry out their activities with high quality.
In addition
, it is obvious that whether people have to stay in their workplaces for long hours, they do some recreational activities
instead
of working, so, obviously, the production of factories decreases.
For instance
, numerous companies like Coca-Cola increase their off-days for staff to raise their
employers'
Correct your spelling
employees'
show examples
performance.
Further
and even more importantly,
workers
and families of
workers
have a right to spend their time together. Indeed, all members of the public must have a work-life balance to enjoy their lives. Not only do more weekends have a good influence on the
workers
' relationships, but it
also
has positive impacts on their spirits.
Thus
, after the betterment of their spirits, they can work more useful than before. Recent studies have shown the majority of divorces take place
due to
the burden of the high amount of responsibilities that are related to men's jobs. In conclusion, from my standpoint, it is a helpful trend because it has excellent consequences for companies and helps
workers
to have better personal lives.
Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the reasons supporting your stance with more detailed arguments or examples to reinforce the essay's depth.
coherence cohesion
Refine transitions between paragraphs and ideas to further enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction, setting the stage for the discussion with well-defined thesis statements.
task achievement
Examples and evidence are employed well to support arguments, such as the reference to Coca-Cola's policies and divorce studies.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer’s viewpoint.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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