Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both view points and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.
In my opinion, both factors are important, which one is more important I do not know. From my point of
viev
, perspective at work is the most important issue, Correct your spelling
view
good
working Correct article usage
a good
atmosphere
it
is just a benefit. I will try to explain my opinion.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Firstly
, working
Add an article
the working
atmosphere
can change because some your
of your coworkers can change the job and leave Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
company, so it is not something permanent. Based on my working experience, at the begining
sometimes it seems that Correct your spelling
beginning
working
Correct article usage
the working
atmosphere
is not pleasent
and does not match your expectations, but over time I Correct your spelling
pleasant
notise
that all of us Correct your spelling
notice
noticed
start
to find a common language and Wrong verb form
started
common
Correct article usage
a common
aprouch
to each other.
Correct your spelling
approach
Secondly
, about salary
it is always a huge motivation in any Add a comma
salary,
proffesion
and job Correct your spelling
profession
posinion
, but not only that because if it is the same salary Correct your spelling
position
positions
during
a long time Change preposition
for
then
it is not so good and it does not motivated
you Change the verb form
motivate
enymore
. So, if choose one of that factors money or Correct your spelling
anymore
atmosphere
I would choose money, because it is something long-term and what is more benefisial
. I would say, that on the same Correct your spelling
beneficial
level
both Add a comma
level,
of
factors are important at some point, but not the most important as I mentioned before.
In conclusion, I can say for sure, that my answer is correct Change preposition
apply
and
I gave enough reasons and examples Correct word choice
apply
why
I think so and I explained my opinion in a clear way.Change preposition
of why
Submitted by artems9802 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents both viewpoints before stating your own opinion. This will help reinforce a balanced discussion and provide a clearer starting point for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on providing smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas to improve overall cohesion. You can use linking phrases like 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'However'.
Task Achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing specific examples. This will enhance the relevance and persuasiveness of your essay, ultimately improving the task achievement score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and the rationale behind it, which is essential for cohesion and the completion of the response.
Task Achievement
You have successfully discussed both viewpoints, showing an understanding of the task and meeting the basic requirements of task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.