IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phone, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? You should use your own ideas knowledge and experience, and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#people #travel #place #work #computers #internet #phone #home #development #support #arguments #evidence
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Previously, people used to travel for their
work
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. Now, with modern technology, the
work
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 mode has
also
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 evolved.
This
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 shift in paradigm was
also
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 exacerbated by the advent of
Covid-19
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COVID-19
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 when the
work
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 and meetings had to be shifted online. In my view,
this
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 is a positive step for both companies and workers. From the business perspective, there are two key benefits stemming from these flexible working arrangements. The first is a more productive workforce. Indeed, the recent isolation regulations of COVID-19 have proven beyond doubt that people can
work
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 even more efficiently and effectively from
home
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. The office, it seems is actually a distractor many. The other advantage for a company is that working from
home
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 means employees can be recruited globally, not just within commuting distance from
work
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.
In other words
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, if a steller marketing manager lives on the other side of the world, and is the best fit for the role,
then
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 there is no reason not to hire him. For the workers themselves, the benefits abound. Chief among these is the ability to balance
home
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 and
work
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 life.
Whereas
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, in the past, a typical working parent had to wake up early, prepare lunches, drive children to school, continue on to
work
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, and put in the 8 to 10 hours in the office before returning
home
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 to cook dinner. Working from
home
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 reduces
this
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 load. A
further
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 plus is the flexibility the situation offers.
This
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 freedom not only improves the quality of their
work
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,
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apply
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 but of their life as well.
IN
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In
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 conclusion,
although
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 not every job can be done from
home
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, if it is possible, it can be extremely beneficial. Companies can reap the rewards in terms of productivity and quality staff,
while
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 workers are able to manage their time better.
Submitted by hudibaiqbal on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or evidence to support your claims about the benefits for workers and companies.
task achievement
Consider discussing potential disadvantages to provide a more balanced perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all points are developed to a similar depth for a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-organized structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with logical reasoning.
task achievement
The discussion is relevant and thoroughly examines the topic, particularly from the business perspective.
task achievement
The language used is clear and ideas are communicated effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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