The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays,
science
is used in a lot
of advanced technology
Fix the agreement mistake
technologies
such
as phones, electric cars, and many more. However
, there is a contention of whether the most important goal of science
is to make people’s life
better. In my opinion, the primary goal of Fix the agreement mistake
lives
science
should not be to improve people’s lives.
It can not be denied that our lives have become so much easier with the technologies nowadays. However
, one thing that a lot
of people should be more aware of is the fact that in order to get those technologies, the environment has been sacrificed. Take an example of a car factory, it involves a lot
of science
to be able to make innovations such
as self driving
cars and electric cars. Add a hyphen
self-driving
Nevertheless
, a lot
of waste is discarded directly to
the river without going Change preposition
into
to
a process of making it less toxic, smokes are released as well Change preposition
through
to
the air making it polluted and unhealthy for humans and animals.
Another example that can be taken is in the cosmetics industry like Change preposition
into
make up
and skincare. A Correct your spelling
make-up
lot
of products are still doing animal testing which is not fine. Its focus is only about
profit and how it can be beneficial for people Change preposition
on
while
treating animals inhumanly
by injecting chemical products, dripping cosmetics chemicals to their eyes, shaving their fur, and rubbing it onto their exposed skin. By the end of the experiment, they will be killed or dissected.
Correct your spelling
inhumanely
To sum up
, although
science
can bring a lot
of advantages for humans, it should never overshadow other vital objects in the field. The priority between scientific progress, environmental preservation, and animal welfare should be balanced.Submitted by riani.the2 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance that science should not primarily aim to improve people's lives but seeks a balance with environmental and animal welfare concerns. This is a well-completed response to the task. However, you can enhance clarity by explicitly stating both sides of the argument in the introduction before expressing your opinion.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next. Try using transition words or phrases between paragraphs to enhance the logical structure. For example, after discussing environmental issues, you might signal a shift to animal welfare concerns.
task achievement
Your essay effectively touches on multiple dimensions of the impacts of science, such as environmental and ethical concerns.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, establishing and summarizing your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens the task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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