You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
It is often argued that the best aspect of being affluent is that you can take part in charity activities and extend help to the indigents. Whilst there are so many advocates for
this
idea, I am completely set against it. I belive
Correct your spelling
believe
people
should be considered only about their own lives. In this
essay, I will express my reasons in detail.
To begin
, as long as one has thrived for things they own, they don
not have to feel guilty about the misery of others. Correct your spelling
do
For instance
, there are so many people
around the world that are facing the consequnces
of them being Correct your spelling
consequences
idol
in the past Fix the agreement mistake
idols
while
at the same time
the Add a comma
time,
people
who are prosperous now were
making an effort to build a future for themselves. Wrong verb form
are
Moreover
, extending help to the indigents may make them accustomed to getting by with the money from a
external resource.
What is more, I think there are many other benefits Change the article
an
for
wealth that are way superior to the chance of being benevolent. Change preposition
of
For example
, rich people
can have access to better education. They are able to make use of entertainment facilities that poor people
can only dream of. Thus
helping others is not much of a pleasure in comparison to things they can do with their affluence.
In conclusion, for a rich person, charity works
can not be of high importance as it is not their responsibility to rescue others out of their misery and Fix the agreement mistake
work
also
there are many other options that they can spend their money in
Change preposition
on
such
as entertainment or education.Submitted by ad8334480 on
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task achievement
It's important to acknowledge the nuances of the question and address multiple perspectives or potential counterarguments for a more balanced discussion.
task achievement
Provide additional examples or evidence to support your main points more robustly and persuasively.
coherence cohesion
Work on using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow and connectivity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Avoid overusing certain phrases (e.g., 'for example', 'for instance') to ensure varied sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, enhancing readability.
task achievement
The writer demonstrates a clear stance on the issue, which is maintained throughout the essay.