Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some argue that
government
investment should not be used for improving the art and
culture
sector,
while
others believe that there are many advantages to community improvement.
This
essay completely agrees with
this
view and I will explain some benefits of supporting artists and cultural events by the authority in the next paragraphs.
To begin
with, artistic and cultural
activities
are the key to knowledge and connection between society. We totally know if we want to understand a country’s politics or a person, we will start looking at their
culture
first and
then
learn about their history and arts.
However
those things get
people
curious and want to find answers,
then
people
will travel there to get answers, and because of the
government
investment in supporting their
culture
and art, that makes
people
more interested in visiting their country, which opens a new financial door,
that is
tourism. To illustrate tourism is an essential factor for any country’s economy and
this
funding helps to grow the tourism sector as well.
On the other hand
, the
government
funding budget for supporting cultural
activities
and artists to show
people
their work contributes to strengthening cultural ties between communities . I think these cultural or art events are important for children to learn more about their cultural identity and how they cling to their
culture
.
For instance
, when I was a child, I used to go to national festivals in which
people
wore traditional clothes and some pieces showed how
people
lived, that taught me a lot about my
culture
and my country and some social attitudes
such
as how to respect older
people
. I think
this
sociable
activities
are good for children especially and adults as well. In conclusion,
government
funding in supporting artists and cultural events is very important for strengthening social cohesion and informing other communities about the country’s
culture
. I believe that
this
investment in order to organize cultural and artistic
activities
is very important for our society.
Submitted by ghazl.1998g on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all topic sentences clearly align with the overall thesis and main idea of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving paragraph transitions to ensure smooth progression of ideas.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas where necessary to avoid misunderstanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The task response offers a complete view of the topic, acknowledging both sides of the argument.

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