Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the arts (eg. Music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Arts
and Public
survices
Correct your spelling
services
are significant
factor
Change the noun form
factors
show examples
for developing nations.
According to
me,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
need to prioritize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public
survices
Correct your spelling
services
like
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
system and
Education
and infrastructure factors but
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
can be important as well. The main reason to spend on social services can be helpful for nationwide or for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.Investing in public services helps to ensure social equity, as it provides all members of society with access to essential resources and opportunities, regardless of their socioeconomic status
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
It can
spend
Wrong verb form
be spent
show examples
in many ways like Health system growth and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
enviormental
Correct your spelling
environmental
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
. Everyone needs Medical facilities for their
goodhealth
Correct your spelling
good health
.
for example
, in 2020 during covid
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
USA had
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
medical facilities for their individuals. More supplies, more Oxygen tanks and
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology prevented deaths. USA
raplidly
Correct your spelling
rapidly
recovered from Covid and
due to
modern
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
they saved many lives. They can
focusing
Change the verb form
focus
be focusing
show examples
on
education
.
Education
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
more
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
than
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. Through
Education
Add a comma
Education,
show examples
people can change their ways of living. That can be beneficial for any country and government.
On the other hand
,
arts
play
Vital
Correct article usage
a Vital
show examples
role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
society through Cultural
preservations
Fix the agreement mistake
preservation
show examples
, creativity and
also
indirect
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
growth.
For instance
, In
Change the capitalization
Chandigarh
show examples
chandigarh
Add a comma
chandigarh,
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is
Correct article usage
an exibition
show examples
exibition
Correct your spelling
exhibition
called Rock Garden. It is created by Prem Chand. He used
Garbage like
Correct your spelling
garbage-like
show examples
plastics and cracked
mirror
Fix the agreement mistake
mirrors
show examples
and utensils to make
sculputures
Correct your spelling
sculptures
. It is
attactive
Correct your spelling
an active
tourist place. It Benefits
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
Economically
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
Tickets for the
exibition
Correct your spelling
exhibition
and Enviornmentally as well. Everyone learns that plastic is
dangeours
Correct your spelling
dangerous
and non digradable. Talent can
attact
Correct your spelling
attract
attach
more
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
and increase finance for
nation
Add an article
the nation
show examples
. In Conclusion, Health services,
Education
and other important
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
are more worth
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
spending
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
funds
for
Change preposition
on for
show examples
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life and economic productivity of
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
but
arts
can create more
attactive
Correct your spelling
active
tourist spots and become
good
Add an article
a good
the good
show examples
industry that can provide more jobs to citizens and good for
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
financial growth.
Submitted by jasneets712 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, maintaining a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. This can be achieved by using clearer signposting words or phrases.
task achievement
Develop supporting points more comprehensively by expanding on ideas and providing further evidence or examples. This will help in presenting a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete structure.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples, such as the USA during COVID-19 and the Rock Garden in Chandigarh, to support the main points, enhancing task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • infrastructure
  • quality of life
  • economic productivity
  • social equity
  • essential resources
  • long-term benefits
  • public health
  • educational attainment
  • public transportation
  • creativity
  • cultural preservation
  • social cohesion
  • indirect economic benefits
  • tourism industry
  • cultural heritage
  • balanced approach
  • well-rounded society
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