IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #future
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In the contemporary era, some
people
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 hold the view that putting aside is a crucial issue for youth. I wholeheartedly agree with
this
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 statement because whenever these young individuals become old, they have an adequate budget to spend on several sectors, and they can spend their
money
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 on more vital items that enable them to achieve accomplishments in their lives. On the one hand, it is obvious that elderly members of the public are not able to work for long hours or they are retired;
thus
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 they have a necessity to save
money
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 for the time that they can not obtain
money
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.
In addition
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, if they do not collect
money
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 in their youth, not only will they not have the ability to spend on recreational activities, but they
also
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 will not take care of themselves.
For instance
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, it can be seen numerous homeless
old-aged
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old
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people
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 who are from Iran disclose that their circumstances are rooted in spending
money
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 on unimportant items like drugs, substances, and cigarettes.
Further
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 and even more importantly, young generations must save
money
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 to spend it on vital tasks to be successful in their lives. Indeed, saving
money
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 assists young
people
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 in purchasing desirable accommodations,
cars
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and cars
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, and engaging in useful workshops that are expensive and helpful for their progress.
For example
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,
Ielts
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IELTS
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 classes are significantly pricy,
hence
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 whether students want to have success in
this
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 exam, they need to have a huge amount of
money
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that is
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 impossible without saving. In conclusion, collecting
money
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 and not wasting
money
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have
Verb problem
are
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importance
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important
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 in
people
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's lives. From my standpoint, saving
money
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 has many benefits,
such
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 as having a better situation in their retirement and reaching prominent goals that they have.
Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on

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task achievement
Expand on the connection between saving money and achieving success. Provide more specific examples of how saved money is used to accomplish life goals.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is supported with concrete examples or explanations to enhance clarity and understanding for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for the response.
task achievement
The topic is addressed effectively, with a complete response that covers the necessity of saving money for young people.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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